Stressed Out I Am

We are now at the final countdown to the big day.  Only 17 more days until the wedding and past time to get all the details finalized.  Since The Murph didn't want to hire a wedding planner, I am feeling more than a little stressed out.

"Why hire a wedding planner when we have plenty of time on our hands to plan and do things ourselves?" says The Murph.  That's all fine, but it seems like all the final details and planning have been dumped on me.    And have I mentioned before that I don't handle stress of any kind very well.  I get anxiety.

 I can handle the big picture, but when it starts to come down to the details, things get messy.

I've been so off the deep end lately that I don't even know what to blog about.  My brain keeps wanting to shut down.  I start doing mindless things like running 17 miles Sunday, listening to the same song 100 million times, napping.  

I could even swim laps for an hour at this point and not die of boredom.

I admit I am a little irritable and easily upset lately.  The Murph doesn't understand why.  He's more laid back than I am about these things.  He knows they will get done.

Somehow.

He said something today to me and I really don't remember what it was because it was that unimportant, but I got all upset.  I told him he just didn't understand how stressed out I am.

He laughed at me and said, "Stressed OUT!  About what?  We're getting married.  The bills are paid.  You don't have to work.  You have it made!  What do YOU have to be stressed out about?"

Later, he took this picture of me sitting out by the pool reading a People magazine just to reemphasize how "stressed out" I am because my life is just so hectic right now.

I call it creepy taking a picture of me from the kitchen window without my knowledge.  Good thing I had my top on!  I'm sure poor Kate wish she'd left her top on now that her boobs are published in French and Italian magazines.

I am a little worried about a certain topless, beach photo shoot I did several years ago.  The photos are on my old laptop which my ex stole.  Any day I might go online and see my own boobs plastered out there for the world to see.  Topless photos in the hands of a vengeful ex don't mix well.

However before you judge me, I told my mom about the photo shoot and she was cool with it.  I think she understood it was more of an" artistic" thing to do. What with the sunset and all the pretty background colors and sand and surf.

Today when I told The Murph I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog about, he suggested that I blog about my "impetuousness. "

Not exactly sure what that meant, I looked it up.

    im·pet·u·ous/imˈpeCHo͞oəs/

Adjective:

Acting or done quickly and without thought or care; impulsive. Moving forcefully or rapidly: "an impetuous flow of water".

I decided that he must want me to blog about what a strong swimmer I am.  I do move rather "forcefully", if not "rapidly" through the water.

I'm sure he didn't mean I am "impulsive" or anything like that.