Over the years I have often compared how my little brother and I were as children with how different The Boy is. Back before he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, I thought it was just a personality difference or even an only child difference. When he was diagnosed with Asperger's everything suddenly made sense.
I actually think it has been better having a child with Asperger's over a neurotypical child. Even easier if it weren't for having to deal with a school system that favors neurotypical children and is very outdated. Oh yes, and the finger pointing and blaming that went on with friends, family and school system before he was diagnosed. Some actually thought he had a behavioral problem, but I knew better. Some people thought I was the problem. Self esteem = 0. Some of those people may still think that I'm the problem, but I don't know because those people are no longer part of my life.
I created this top ten list of things that I feel have made it easier having an Aspie child compared to a neurotypical one. I do not have a neurotypical child so I have to compare him to myself and my brother when we were children and my brother's kids. This list might have been a little different if I had one of each, but The Boy is an only child. So....
10. Obsessively saves his money and never would blow it on unnecessary things. (He has all the money he earned from his first summer job three summers ago.)
(Me: I had a list of things I was going to buy before I even have the paycheck in hand.)
9. Always know what he wants to eat. Mexican food, Pizza, Mexican food, Pizza
(Me: I rarely ate in college. This caused problems.)
8. I always have a computer professional on hand and could probably hack into the Pentagon if I wanted too, but our own firewall is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by....
(Me: I know where the on and off switch are.)
7. Never got up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning because he was so excited about opening presents. Never really wanted to open any of his presents. Was more excited about the cookies Santa ate after I finally couldn't stand it anymore and woke him up at 10:30 a.m. Christmas morning. Forget about the bright red Jeep Santa brought for him.
(Me: Christmas morning I was up at dawn, pouncing on mom, presents unwrapped before the sun came up.)
6. Still wants to sit in my lap even though he's 20 years old. (The Murph asked if this was a good thing. I said, "yes, once I get the feeling back in my legs.")
(Me: NEVER sat in a lap, ever.)
5. Never cared about toys. Just give him a screw driver and an old clock radio or appliance and he's good. Once I "threw" his toys away as punishment for calling me the B word and he never missed them. Why would he when he had paper clips and staples? (this was his pre-computer obsessed days).
(Me: Drove mom crazy with "I want! I want! I want!")
4. Never eats my stash of sweets. I don't even have to hide anything. He's even afraid to eat his own stash unless he asks first.
(Me: My mom's stash was never safe. My little brother always knew where to find it!)
3. I almost always know where he is because he's usually at home.
(Me: My mom knew where I was most of the time, but I was not necessarily at home.)
2. Totally does not care about fashion or any of the latest styles. Clothing just has to be "fruit of the loom" soft, comfortable, with no fancy seams. Once I discovered his "brand," I just had to buy one in each color for 10 years straight.
(Me: In college I majored in Fashion Merchandising because I liked clothes.)
And the number one reason why I'm glad The Boy's an Aspie...
1. Because he wouldn't be The Boy if he was anything else.
I actually think it has been better having a child with Asperger's over a neurotypical child. Even easier if it weren't for having to deal with a school system that favors neurotypical children and is very outdated. Oh yes, and the finger pointing and blaming that went on with friends, family and school system before he was diagnosed. Some actually thought he had a behavioral problem, but I knew better. Some people thought I was the problem. Self esteem = 0. Some of those people may still think that I'm the problem, but I don't know because those people are no longer part of my life.
I created this top ten list of things that I feel have made it easier having an Aspie child compared to a neurotypical one. I do not have a neurotypical child so I have to compare him to myself and my brother when we were children and my brother's kids. This list might have been a little different if I had one of each, but The Boy is an only child. So....
Here's The Top 10 Reasons Why I'm glad the Boy Is An Aspie
10. Obsessively saves his money and never would blow it on unnecessary things. (He has all the money he earned from his first summer job three summers ago.)
(Me: I had a list of things I was going to buy before I even have the paycheck in hand.)
9. Always know what he wants to eat. Mexican food, Pizza, Mexican food, Pizza
(Me: I rarely ate in college. This caused problems.)
8. I always have a computer professional on hand and could probably hack into the Pentagon if I wanted too, but our own firewall is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by....
(Me: I know where the on and off switch are.)
7. Never got up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning because he was so excited about opening presents. Never really wanted to open any of his presents. Was more excited about the cookies Santa ate after I finally couldn't stand it anymore and woke him up at 10:30 a.m. Christmas morning. Forget about the bright red Jeep Santa brought for him.
(Me: Christmas morning I was up at dawn, pouncing on mom, presents unwrapped before the sun came up.)
6. Still wants to sit in my lap even though he's 20 years old. (The Murph asked if this was a good thing. I said, "yes, once I get the feeling back in my legs.")
(Me: NEVER sat in a lap, ever.)
5. Never cared about toys. Just give him a screw driver and an old clock radio or appliance and he's good. Once I "threw" his toys away as punishment for calling me the B word and he never missed them. Why would he when he had paper clips and staples? (this was his pre-computer obsessed days).
(Me: Drove mom crazy with "I want! I want! I want!")
4. Never eats my stash of sweets. I don't even have to hide anything. He's even afraid to eat his own stash unless he asks first.
(Me: My mom's stash was never safe. My little brother always knew where to find it!)
3. I almost always know where he is because he's usually at home.
(Me: My mom knew where I was most of the time, but I was not necessarily at home.)
2. Totally does not care about fashion or any of the latest styles. Clothing just has to be "fruit of the loom" soft, comfortable, with no fancy seams. Once I discovered his "brand," I just had to buy one in each color for 10 years straight.
(Me: In college I majored in Fashion Merchandising because I liked clothes.)
And the number one reason why I'm glad The Boy's an Aspie...
1. Because he wouldn't be The Boy if he was anything else.
That's so sweet! Skeletor has no use for Christmas morning, either. This year, he saw his 3 foot long T-rex skeleton, and that was that. We had to open the rest for him.
ReplyDeleteMy son asked me if anybody had commented about this post after I told him about it. I've been reading him the comments. He smiled and nodded his head when I read him yours. I asked him why he doesn't like to unwrap presents. He said "I don't know. It just seems bad to tear into something and mess it up like that." I finally just left his presents unwrapped and sitting out by the tree when he was younger after me having to unwrap all of them anyway the year before.
DeleteYour list is incredible because I could totally use it for my son. It's almost like I wrote this list myself.
ReplyDeleteJacob is only 8 years old, but sitting on my lap is already tough on my legs. I hope he'll still want to sit on me when he's 20.
Don't worry. I'm sure he will! Hope your legs hold up better than mine!
DeleteWhat a sweet list:)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I could come up with ten reasons;D haha But, they are still young:)
Thanks! It does get easier. Well, sort of. Okay, actually one thing turns into another and then another, but I'm sure eventually it will all get easier.
DeleteGreat list. Especially Reason Number 1. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteLove the list! For my son, I could add that I never have to worry about him lying to me. He is simply incapable of lying about anything and abhors anyone who lies to him!
ReplyDeleteThanks! My son and I were just talking about people who tell lies the other day. He doesn't understand why people tell lies. He doesn't lie either. (at least I don't think so!) :)
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