Bad News

This has been a tough post to write. I don't even know where to start.

First of all, Friday we came back to Birmingham because our house is still for sale and we are trying to sell it ourselves without a Realtor. Every two weeks are so we have been doing an open house and we also arrange to show it to anyone who has called during those two weeks and want to see it.

That's one reason we came to Birmingham. The other was our cat, Phantom. After the last vet visit that showed his kidneys and thyroid to be fine, but his blood calcium level was high, we still didn't know what was causing the problems, which also involved his heart. Our vet found out that Michigan State had a better blood test that could hopefully rule out cancer or thyroid problems and we would know how to proceed from there.

The plan was to drop Phantom off at the vet this morning to take blood that would be frozen and sent to Michigan and our vet would do another physical with more x-rays to look for any abnormal growths that would indicate cancer. I had no idea how much all of this would cost, but pulled money out of a mutual fund, hoping it would be enough because I planned on doing whatever it took to help Phantom get over this thing, whatever it was.

Sunday I got up early and ran with my friend L, a hilly 13 miles on our usual course that I love. Then the Murph and I had the open house Sunday afternoon and got tons of people and a couple seemed really interested. A few asked about the intercom system that was put in the house when it was first built in 1979, you know the ones.

"Time for dinner! Over and out!"

"Hellooooo! Anyone home?"

The ones that are rarely used especially now when everyone carries around a cell phone. The Murph has never used it since he moved in the house 20 years ago. They use to put them in houses in the late 70's I guess. I'm not sure if they put them in houses anymore. We have them all over the place. It's kind of funny.

Another Realtor came by today to see the house for her and her husband. She brought cupcakes from Dreamcakes Bakery, the bakery that did our wedding cakes - strawberry and red velvet. I really think she was just looking for a listing. I can't blame her. I've thought of doing that myself back when my real estate license was active. It's a real pain trying to get listings. Everybody always knows somebody in real estate and that's who they usually list with.

I dropped Phantom off at the vet this morning at 8:30a.m. thinking I would have him back by 11a.m and we would be on our way back home to Pensacola by 2p.m. Around noon the vet called me and said he saw a growth in Phantom's abdomen on the x-ray. It had been there in an x-ray a couple of months ago, but when he saw it then, it looked like it was just poop in his intestines. Since the same thing was still there in the same spot, he thought it was a growth and wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure. He also told me that the cost to ship the frozen blood to Michigan was not $25 but $125 since it had to be kept frozen. That would make the total cost over $300. 

No problem, because like I said before, I would do anything for Phantom.

I waited and waited. I tried picking Phantom up at 3p.m because that's when the vet originally said he would be done with the ultrasound. The receptionist said Phantom was finishing up the ultrasound and that the vet needed to talk to me about the results, but he wasn't done yet. They would call me.

 I had a bad feeling about it all at that point as I left the vet. I knew it wasn't going to be good news.

I called the Murph and we decided that since it was so late at that point that we would wait until in the morning to head back to the beach. Phantom had been cooped up at the vet all day and didn't need to ride another 4 hours cooped up in the cat carrier in the back seat. While I waited for the vet to call me to go over the test results, I went to the drugstore to get Phantom's heart medicine refilled, filled the car up with gas, stopped by the Sprint store to find out why my phone wasn't ringing and I was having to look at it every 5 minutes to see if the vet was calling (the little switch on the side was flipped to turn the sound off) and then I went to the grocery store to pick up something to eat tonight since we were staying and had no food or cat litter.

That's when things started falling apart. With all the anxiety over Phantom, I totally fell off the healthy food wagon. So much for trying to give up processed foods, like crackers and cookies.  I got greasy fried chicken for dinner....

With biscuits and not even home cooked biscuits, but enclosed in plastic, no telling how old they are, biscuits.

I am embarrassed to even admit to my stress-induced cookie consumption the past couple of days. All this consuming of sugary, greasy comfort food reminds me of the days when I first got divorced and my son, who was about 10 years old at the time, would go to his dad's for the weekend. Boy did I miss him!

On Friday after he left, I would hit up the grocery store and buy every kind of food that was bad for me, both sugary and salty, and pig out all weekend in between four hour bike rides and 3 hour runs. I was so worn out and bloaty by the end of the weekend but before I knew it, Sunday would be there and the Boy would be back home from his dad's.

By the time we got Phantom, the Boy was 12 or 13 and I had gotten use to the weekends without him. By then, he was home most of the  weekends anyway. I'm still addicted to cookies and crackers. They are to two processed food items that has been tough for me to stop eating even though I'm trying to stay away from high fructose corn syrup and preservatives like BHT. It's in EVERYTHING! 

By 4, when I had already finished up doing all the damage at the grocery store, the vet finally called.  I went to hear the news, hoping it would be good.  

It was not.

The vet said that there was not only a growth in Phantom's abdomen, but it had spread to Phantom's liver. The worst possible news. 

Phantom has cancer. 

The vet said that at this point there was no reason to send the blood to Michigan State. From the looks of the ultrasound and xrays and the heart issue, he is 99% sure Phantom has Lymphosarcoma, the most common cancer in cats. At this point, he told me the only thing we could do is make him as comfortable as possible, treat whatever symptoms may develop, continue the Lasix and the Atenolol for his heart and enjoy every day we have left with him.

I asked, "how long do we have?" He said it could be a week, it could be 6 months. It's hard to say, but once again he told me to just enjoy everyday we have left with Phantom. How many times I've heard that over the past 4 months. So now there's nothing left to do. I felt defeated.

When I got home and was taking pictures of all the junk food I purchased at the store, I noticed, behind the crackers and cookies, the cat spoon holder that I got years ago because it reminded me of Phantom and behind that a cross that was given to me as a Christmas present from the girl who originally told me about Phantom and arranged for me to get Phantom when he was a kitten.

And of course then there's the bike wine holder. Biking, one of the things I do when I get stressed besides running or eating cookies.

Coincidence? Not so sure.

Or another reminder to enjoy every day I have, not only with Phantom, but with everything I love and just life in general. Love life and live and enjoy everyday. They will not last forever. We don't know what will happen tomorrow or even if there will be a tomorrow, but whatever happens, enjoy the day the Lord has made.

So I brought Phantom home, I will continue to give him his meds, he will continue to come back and forth with us while we try to sell our house (the Murph calls him our real estate cat because he greets all the people that come see the house and thinks they have come to see him), and I will try to enjoy every day I have left with him. Right now I'm keeping Kleenex in business and Phantom, not understanding why I'm all red eyed, but trying to comfort me as he's done all his life when he's seen me cry, which is a lot over the past 8 years.

.

I haven't told the Boy the bad news about Phantom yet although the last time he was with us I told him Phantom may have cancer. He texted me last night saying he needs a suit because he has an interview this week, but didn't know what day. Typical of the Boy! I just hope he gets a hair cut before the interview, but that's another story!

I got a suit out of his closet and sent it UPS to him since I am here and not there. I think I will wait until after his interview to tell him about Phantom. Maybe in person. That would be better. It's not going to be easy. 

 - This is the day that the Lord has made for us, let us Rejoice and be glad in it.  

                                                                                       Psalms 118: 24

-There is no coincidence... only the illusion of coincidence.

                                                                    Alan Moore- V for Vendetta

Wedding Plan Update

During our beach trip last week, we stopped by the liquor store on our way home.  Florida has a much lower tax on liquor so we decided to load up for the wedding while we were down there.    Even though we have an open bar for the actual wedding reception, we found out that doesn't include champagne.  That's what's in the boxes, champagne for toasting, not Jack Daniels.  Although you could probably get some very entertaining toasts if you use Jack Daniels, I'm a little more traditional.

As you can see I had a little furry visitor on the table exploring as I was trying to take pictures.  He was being very stubborn and not wanting to get down even though he knows the dining room table is off limits.

A little tail in this picture pointing at the Beefeater Gin box.

A little tail still seeming to point at the Beefeater Gin box.

Finally deciding to jump down now that he's within arms reach and he knows I'll get him.

Ed's checking out the other box that's on the floor.  Ed would never disobey the rules and jump on the dining room table.  He has better manners than Cadence.    This box had various other liquors, for the house since we will have a houseful of family members all weekend, including a brunch and a bar-b-que on Sunday after the wedding.

The house is still a mess and the carpets need cleaning, but we're prepared liquor wise.

I took pictures of my dress to the bakery that is doing the wedding cake.  She is going to match the sparkly design on the top and bottom of the dress to the top layer and bottom layer of the cake.  While there, I took advantage of the opportunity to purchase more cupcakes.  I got an assortment of different yummy flavors.  The blue one is still my favorite.

The bridesmaid dresses have come in and are the perfect fuchsia color.  My favorite color.  I love them!  I gave the Running Nazi her dress when I ran with her yesterday so she could get it altered if needed since she never gave me her measurements.  I don't know if she liked it or not even though she said she did.

 The Murph is now calling tux places so he can get measured for a tux.  We weren't able to get The Boy measured for a tux while we were in his college town and he won't be back home until right before the wedding.

Fortunately, since my ex husband (The Boy's father) just got married in May and The Boy was in his wedding, we were able to call that tux place and found out that they still had The Boy's measurements on file.

Yea!  Problem solved.  Now if we could just convince The Boy to get his hair cut.  He refused to get his hair cut for his dad's wedding.  That was almost 4 months ago and he still hasn't had a hair cut.  At this point I could just loan him a sparkly pony tail holder for the wedding.

Also, since the tux place is a nationwide chain, The Murph's brother, who lives in New Jersey, can get his tux at the same place.

Now we have to finalize everything with the music, florist, officiant, etc. and finish writing our vows.

"Let Them Eat Cake" (Or Cupcakes)

Today was my mom's "29th" birthday.  She's been "29" for at least 30 years, but who's counting, right? I was fortunate to have her agree to go with me to meet with the bakery that I wanted to do my wedding cake.  The Murph who seems to be very anti-cake was going to go with me, but really didn't want to so I gave him a pass.  Dreamcakes Bakery is a local company in Homewood, Alabama and I was informed that they make the best tasting cakes and cupcakes ever.

I picked my mom up early so we could look for shoes for her to wear with the dress she chose for the wedding.  We found the perfect pair at DSW, our second stop before heading to the Dreamcakes Bakery.  They are Liz Claiborne Massey sandals found Here in off-white.  I think they will be perfect with her dress.

I took pictures of my wedding dress and pictures of some of the wedding cakes I have found in magazines that I like.  We met with K at Dreamcakes and she was very nice and brought out samples of the different cake flavors as well as photo albums and an Ipad full of wedding cake pictures and ideas.

For the wedding cake we decided on three square layers with the first layer having the exact embroidery, beading and design as the top of my wedding dress, the second layer being a little plainer (like my dress) with some edible pearl beading and the last layer having the exact same embroidery and sparkle as the bottom of my wedding dress.  There will also be some flowers in the wedding color strategically placed on the cake and a sparkly monogram of the initial of our last name on top if I can find one to order and get it in on time.

The grooms cake is going to be a special surprise, but will include some chocolate, red velvet and a strawberry cake layer since the bride cake is traditional white cake with lemon filling and vanilla butter cream icing on the top and bottom and almond cream icing on the middle layer.   This bakery does make some very tasty cakes.

They are most famous for their cupcakes.  Since it was my mom's "29" birthday, she picked out some different flavor cupcakes, Lemon Drop, Strawberry Lemonade, and Coconut Cream.  I took home the Lemon Drop, Maple Bacon (yes it is a cupcake with bacon on it), and Over the Moon, which is vanilla butter cream and my favorite so far.

Lemon Drop and Strawberry Lemonade Cupcake

Over The Moon Cupcake

Lemon Drop, Maple Bacon, Over the Moon Cupcakes

I'm saving the Maple Bacon cupcake for breakfast tomorrow.  I was told it tastes like pancakes and bacon.  I've already nibbled or licked all three of them so I can tell you right now they are all delicious.  I warned The Murph if he wanted one of them he should get the side that I didn't lick.  He said that's okay.  He doesn't want any cupcakes.  He still wonders why the heck we need wedding cakes at all.

My cupcakes are safe.  They will still be in the box when I'm ready to eat them tomorrow.

Unless this guy gets them.  He's not suppose to be on the kitchen table, but he wanted to be up higher so he could watch me taking pictures of the cupcakes.  He's very bad!

Very bad!

Princess Birthday Party For A Little Princess

And no, it's not my birthday although I have been called "a princess" by the Running Nazi and she didn't mean it as a compliment exactly.  I still have a few days to go before my big day and just for the record, I'm 29 and holding. (It works for my mom so it'll work for me!)

I went over to the Running Nazi, L's house today.  She was having a party for her niece who turned 3 years old.  It was the first time I had met her cute little niece A, but I have heard lots about her during our long runs.  A is very, very lucky to have the Running Nazi as an aunt. RN's make great aunts!

I also finally got to meet several of L's family members - brother, sister, nieces etc.  She loves doing parties and is a super cook.  I've told her she should do catering she loves it so much.  She really went all out on decorations, food, activities.  I have never left her house hungry and she even helps me out when I have parties by making something really tasty.

L's niece A wanted a pink princess party with tacos for lunch, so the food was Mexican themed and delicious.  I had a soft taco with a little steak and chicken on it, (she had three different choices), guacamole dip, chips, 7 layer dip, chicken enchilada casserole, and several other types of dips and black beans and stuffed jalapenos.

For dessert L had birthday cake, cupcakes, cookies and chess squares.  And then there was some delicious pink princess punch made with raspberry sherbet and ginger ale.

It's a good thing we are running 13 miles tomorrow.  I need to burn this off.

It's been a long time since The Boy was that age, but it brought back memories of all his parties and the many parties he was invited to go to..  It seemed like everybody in his preschool class had a big birthday party.  And all his cousins as well.  They are all graduating from high school or in college now.

Those days he wouldn't let me out of his sight.  All the other kids would be playing and he would be right by my side.

He wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's yet during those days so I just thought he was shy and would out grow it.

I don't think he ever really out grew it.  I think his peer group just got older and eventually stopped having birthdays where they invited everyone in the class.

The girls invited girls and the boys invited boys and only close friends got invited.  The Boy did better in these smaller groups.

Back then I got my share of jumping in these things with The Boy.  It was the only way I could get him in one, but once inside he loved it.

All the children had fun swimming in the swimming pool.  I didn't see any adults go in the pool, but a mom, dad or two that had really small children might have gotten in.  I was too busy inside eating cupcakes.

The Running Nazis' dog's Ali and Max were handling things really well.  Ali even dressed for the occasion.

Ali

Max

 And then there was the pinata, handmade in Mexico that the RN's husband, P called the "bad prom date'.   Yes, I can see why.  So can the Murph.

I love this sandbox that the RN's husband P made for little A.

And the funniest picture of all,  P riding in cinderella's carriage.

And princess goody bags!  (I got some pink Lancome lip gloss)

What a fun party!  Happy Birthday A!