Getting Back To "Normal"

Ed

Our life has been in a little bit of an upheaval since Boo died last Wednesday.  We are slowly starting to heal and get back to normal, but it's been rough.  For one thing, we have been giving Ed, Boo's brother, a lot of extra attention.  I mean A LOT!  Holding, petting, attention, making Phantom leave him alone and trying to encourage Cadence to be more accepting of him.  Phantom has been exiled to the Boys domain for most of this time.  Usually when he goes after Ed, we spray him with water.  This week we are being proactive instead of reactive in our protection of poor Ed.

This has Phantom confused and a little isolated since the Boy left to go over to his dad's Saturday, but he will be okay.  The Boy comes home tonight.

Our sleeping routine at night has been that Phantom gets locked down in the Boys bedroom, Cadence sleeps with me and Ed and Boo slept upstairs in their "bedroom", but still have free roam of the house.  All the cats have free roam except Phantom because he's too aggressive, mainly toward Ed.

 Since Ed is now all alone and Cadence is very territorial when it comes to our bedroom and me, the Murph has been sleeping upstairs with Ed.  What was only suppose to be one night (the night Boo died) has become four nights because Ed has been very lost and grieving.

While I totally understand and empathize with poor Ed, I am going to be glad to get the Murph back.  Sorry Ed!  I have been attempting to make Cadence more accepting of Ed and therefore we would have both of them in our bedroom. (this probably won't happen.)  Cadence only tolerated Phantom in my bedroom (before we started locking him downstairs) because Phantom is 3x bigger than Cadence and he didn't have much of a choice.   However, I have seen Phantom respectfully jump off the bed when Cadence goes after him in a frenzy.  Cadence is like, "How dare that bastard jump up on MY bed!"  Then Phantom is like, " Whatever!  The floor is good!"

Besides, Cadence sleeps all night and Ed demands petting and won't stay still.  Cadence has been sleeping on my legs since he was a kitten.  We are both trained and can make it through the night this way.  I told the Murph before I moved in that this was how it was with Cadence - he sleeps with me.  The Murph didn't like cats in the bedroom at first, but then saw that Cadence is usually not that bad at night.  We usually never know he's there unless I am restless and keep waking him up. That's when he wants to be petted.

Tonight we will be back to normal.  It will be the first time Ed's been alone so we will see how he adapts.  I have already started looking on pet adoption web sites for a new little sister kitty for Ed if he still seems to be lonely in a few weeks.  Hopefully not.  We already have 3 cats.  I would like a girl kitty if we get another one though because I am outnumbered around here with all these males both the human and feline varieties.

I never realize the cat dynamics that were in place here until we lost Boo.  I always thought Phantom and Ed were the dominant personalities and that's why they didn't get along.  They were both "fighting" over territory even though Phantom wins because of his size, youth,  not to mention CLAWS!  Ed backed down early on, but was still chased by Phantom and sometimes Cadence.

Boo on the other hand, seemed so laid back and non-territorial.  Preferring his toys and a good meal to anything else.  Phantom would go after Ed and he would run.  Phantom tried that with Boo and Boo just stood there.  Phantom lunged, got all the way in Boo's face and then slunk away when Boo just sat there and looked at him without budging.  Boo never ran away.  I use to think it was because he couldn't see or hear very well.  I should have known better.

Boo was brave.  Boo protected Ed, not the other way around.  Our schedule revolved around Boo.  Boo ruled this house in his own, non aggressive, dignified way.  And the other cats respected him.  He didn't have to get aggressive to earn that respect.  Because of this seemingly unaggressive, passive behavior, he was the last one that I thought was "in charge" around here.  

Funny, I didn't even realize he was the one in charge until he was gone.