In Honor Of Autism Awareness Month....

I haven't had any autism/asperger related blog posts lately so I decided to post this in honor of April Autism Awareness month. So many children and families are having to deal with autism and it's only getting worse.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was in eighth grade. He went so many years when we didn't know what was wrong with him, but we knew something was very wrong. It was such a relief when we finally had an answer, but it was also just the beginning.

I'm happy to say my son is doing very well now and is a finishing his junior year of college and, also doing an internship with a computer company near his college. He only calls if he has problems and I have to say, those calls have gotten fewer and fewer as he has learned to handle the problems on his own.

It hasn't always been so easy!

Paddling And The Boy

Paddle boarding that is, not paddling the Boy although he could use a good paddling about now!

Everyday I see more and more people paddling around on paddle boards. Popularity seems to keep growing in this sport that originated in Hawaii, the Murph and my future retirement state. (If I can get him back on an airplane for the time it takes to fly there it will be a miracle!) Yesterday evening there was a lone paddler on the sound at sunset. Very peaceful! I haven't tried it yet, but it's on my "to do" list this year. I wonder how hard it is to balance on one of those things?

It's almost impossible to be stressed out here even though the Boy is continually working on it for me. His latest issue is not answering his phone when I call him or responding to text messages from me unless he needs something from me. Usually when he decides to call me he is in some sort of "crisis" situation. For example, the other day he called (after not responding to my calls or texts for 3 days) extremely, EXTREMELY upset because one of his roommates was eating his food. Instead of confronting the roommate, the Boy decided I need to bring him his own personal refrigerator for his bedroom.

When he realized that wasn't going to happen, he calmed down and hopefully either confronted his roommate with the problem or purchased food items that don't require refrigeration so he can store it in his room. At the time, those were the best solutions I could think of for him. I was a little upset myself that he didn't call or respond to me unless he needed something and then he demanded that I do something. Oh no! Not going to happen.

Tequila helps the de-stressing process too. With the awesome sunsets, bike rides, long runs and adult beverages, I can handle the Boy's "crisis" situations a little better than I use to.

One more thing - I don't think the Boy reads my blog (as a matter of fact, I know he doesn't), but if he happens to come across this post, I have one thing to say to him -

" If you want me to answer my phone when you call or text me, then I would suggest you do the same when I call. I know you are really, really busy, but I was a little busy myself all those years I had to set aside my own interests to change your diapers and attend all those IEP meetings. So.... answer your phone or at the least return my call at a time when it's more convenient for you, preferably on the same day I called you. That is all."

"Comprende?"

What's Been Going On Around Here

Image from Argus Finch FB

I saw this on my FB feed this morning and LOVE it!  Not just because it has cats on it.  This one reminds me of Ed's attitude regarding yoga poses.  We have a lot of attitude in this house!

Speaking of attitude, a friend of mine was wearing these really great arm warmers during the race a few weeks ago.  Love them!

Some Girls Chase Boys
I pass'em

I don't know who the guy is in the above photo, but from the look on his face he doesn't appreciate getting passed by girls during a race.

This past weekend my Saturday run choices were getting up at 5am and meeting some friends to do a 9 mile run, doing a 5k race that didn't start until 8:30am or sleeping in and going to the gym with the Murph.  It was a beautiful day but I chose option number 3, sleeping in!  No run at all on Saturday.  I had also planned on doing at least 3 hours on the spin bike since for years Saturday has always been "long" bike ride day.

I slept in, went to the gym, did 1 hour on the spin bike and then went to get a manicure and a pedicure.

Totally blew my workout Saturday!   After I got my nails done, the Murph and I did go back to the gym and I did 30 minutes of weights and crunches so I'm hoping that makes up for the failed bike ride. I got up early Sunday and ran almost 13 miles with a friend (who I can no longer call the running nazi or she'll hit me), but you know who I mean.

I love daylight savings time, but I've heard complaints everywhere.  Seems I'm one of the few people who actually likes it.  I guess nobody likes losing an hour.

My friend (who use to be called the running nazi) texted me Sunday morning to make sure we were still meeting.  Really it was to make sure I remembered to set my clock ahead an hour.  I texted back that "sure I reset my clocks and was good to go."

Just to make sure I was on the right page she then texted "okay, see you in 40 MINUTES."

She knows me too well.   I can totally bail on a normal, non-time changing morning.  Who knows what I could manage to do when I lose an hour in the morning.  Not to mention she knew we were going out the night before and the last time I did that I had that margarita mishap and failed to show for a morning run.  That one was different though because the entire group was running, not just me and her and I hadn't really totally 100% committed that morning so things were cool.

After the run on Sunday I went to the gym and did some time on the spin bike to make up for Saturday and then did lower body weights.  My overall workout time for the week was 30 minutes more than the week before so I was happy.  I'm going to try to get over 12 hours of workout time this week and then cut back next week to about 8 hours.  I'm hoping to average around 15 hours a week for the summer by adding swim workouts and longer bike rides on my real bike, not the trainer or spin bike.

The Boy is home from college for the week.  We drove 8 hours to get him on Friday and it was a long ride back, especially when he decided to take his shoes and socks off.  It smelled like he must have been wearing those same socks all semester although he says they were clean.  He also said he washed clothes at least 3 times this semester, but from the load of dirty laundry, I have my doubts.  And the smell of it all!  His shoes had to go back on his feet while in the car or we weren't going to make it.

I didn't want to touch the basket of overflowing dirty garments, sheets and towels the Boy had in his room, but the Boy had his hands full with books and computers, the Murph had the rolling suitcase so it seemed I was going to be stuck with the nasty smellies. I knew that somehow I was going to have to convince the Murph to switch with me without him realizing why I wanted to switch.

Being the gentleman that he is, he saw me hesitate over the basket and thinking that it was because of the heaviness of the basket, he immediately offered me the rolling suitcase since it was easier.  I grabbed it and ran!

Once outside, the Murph looked down at the basket of nasty smellies he was carrying and wrinkled his nose and realized his mistake. I started laughing and he immediately realized what I had done. Luckily for me he was a good sport about it.  I mean, that basket was smelly!

Image from FB

Tomorrow the Boy has a dentist appointment which should be "fun"as usual and then I'm going to have to try to convince him to get a hair cut. He still wants his hair to grow down his back even though he will look like a girl. This is probably somehow my fault from back when he was a toddler and I let his hair grow out and didn't want to get it cut because I thought it looked cute.

Now it's not so cute like that especially when he can never find his brush or comb.

I guess it's his hair though and his decision.  He will be 21 years old in May.  How old are they when mom's can no longer tell them what to do?

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

I love ABBA!  Dancing Queen has always been one of my favorite songs from them.  I came across this song in my search of wedding ceremony music.  I love it!

Today when I signed into the knot website, it showed "only 3 more days" until the wedding.  I don't know why, but I panicked!  Then I realized that on our TO DO checklist on that same site, we have checked off 171 items and only have a mere 8 to go.

What a relief!

I got so much done today.  This morning we had our final dance lesson for our first dance, then I headed over to get my hair colored and had a trial wedding hair run.  Then I headed over to alterations to have final fittings on my dress.  They are perfect and wedding ready.  I picked up my mom's dress too.

Then I went ahead and got a pedicure, but am waiting until tomorrow or Friday for the manicure.

While I did that, after the dance lesson, the Murph went to get measured for his tux and then took the swizzle sticks and the final payment with the final head count to the country club where we are having the wedding.

And best of all, The Boy called today to ask me how I wanted him to get his hair cut.  Since he really wanted to have his hair cut by his usual girl here in Birmingham, I called and made him an appointment for when he gets home tomorrow.

What luck!  She is available tomorrow evening to cut The Boy's hair.  And he's willing to do it, no fights, no problems, just like that!  I never thought I would ever get to this point with him.

Thank you Lord!

Top 10 Reasons I'm Glad My Son's An Aspie

Over the years I have often compared how my little brother and I were as  children with how different The Boy is.  Back before he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, I thought it was just a personality difference or even an only child difference.   When he was diagnosed with Asperger's everything suddenly made sense.

 I actually think it has been better having a child with Asperger's over a neurotypical child.  Even easier if it weren't for having to deal with a school system that favors neurotypical children and is very outdated.  Oh yes, and the finger pointing and blaming that went on with friends, family and school system before he was diagnosed.  Some actually thought he had a behavioral problem, but I knew better.  Some people thought I was the problem.  Self esteem = 0.  Some of those people may still think that I'm the problem, but I don't know because those people are no longer part of my life.

I created this top ten list of things that I feel have made it easier having an Aspie child compared to a neurotypical one.  I do not have a neurotypical child so I have to compare him to myself and my brother when we were children and my brother's kids.  This list might have been a little different if I had one of each, but The Boy is an only child.  So....

 Here's The Top 10 Reasons Why I'm glad the Boy Is An Aspie

10.  Obsessively saves his money and never would blow it on unnecessary things. (He has all the money he earned from his first summer job three summers ago.)

  (Me:  I had a list of things I was going to buy before I even have the paycheck in hand.)

9.  Always know what he wants to eat.  Mexican food, Pizza, Mexican food, Pizza

   (Me:  I rarely ate in college.  This caused problems.)

8.  I always have a computer professional on hand and could probably hack into the Pentagon if I wanted too, but our own firewall is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by another firewall which is backed up by....

   (Me:  I know where the on and off switch are.)

7.   Never got up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning because he was so excited about opening presents.  Never really wanted to open any of his presents.  Was more excited about the cookies Santa ate after I finally couldn't stand it anymore and woke him up at 10:30 a.m. Christmas morning.  Forget about the bright red Jeep Santa brought for him.

    (Me:  Christmas morning I was up at dawn, pouncing on mom, presents unwrapped before the sun   came up.)

6.   Still wants to sit in my lap even though he's 20 years old.  (The Murph asked if this was a good thing.  I said, "yes, once I get the feeling back in my legs.")

   (Me:  NEVER sat in a lap, ever.)

5.   Never cared about toys.  Just give him a screw driver and an old clock radio or appliance and he's good.  Once I "threw" his toys away as punishment for calling me the B word and he never missed them.  Why would he when he had paper clips and staples?  (this was his pre-computer obsessed days).

   (Me:  Drove mom crazy with "I want!  I want!  I want!")

4.  Never eats my stash of sweets.  I don't even have to hide anything.  He's even afraid to eat his own stash unless he asks first.

   (Me:  My mom's stash was never safe.  My little brother always knew where to find it!)

3.   I almost always know where he is because he's usually at home.

   (Me:  My mom knew where I was most of the time, but I was not necessarily at home.)

2.  Totally does not care about fashion or any of the latest styles.  Clothing just has to be "fruit of the loom" soft, comfortable, with no fancy seams.  Once I discovered his "brand," I just had to buy one in each color for 10 years straight.

   (Me:   In college I majored in Fashion Merchandising because I liked clothes.)

And the number one reason why I'm glad The Boy's an Aspie...

1.  Because he wouldn't be The Boy if he was anything else.

Boy Genius

Whenever I come across anything on computers, technology or asperger's that I think The Boy might be interested in reading, I will email or skype him the link to the article, blog, whatever it happens to be.  This morning I was reading and came across a blog that had a link to an article on the "9 Ways Geeks Have Inherited The Earth".  I thought it was a cool and accurate article on the ways technology has impacted every one's lives and most of this technology has been invented by "Geeks".

 The article stated that "Geeks are behind the wealthiest companies in the world." I am keeping my fingers crossed that one day the Boy will be behind one of those companies.  Geeks rule!  I wish I were a Geek, but I still screw up my html code whenever I try to copy and paste pictures on my blog.  I made a D in the only computer class I ever took in college.  (One class was plenty to let me know that wasn't my field).  I don't even know how to get my printer to work when I try to print wirelessly from my lap top.  I thought The Boy would love the article, but instead I get something that went like this:

Me: (sending the link to the boy along with this note)  Interesting article I thought you would like to read

A few minutes later The Boy skypes this back to me......

The Boy: A bunch of bull crap

Me: So Geeks don't rule??

The Boy: They missed a lot of major details

The Boy: and they used a lot of words incorrectly

The Boy: It sounded like someone in high school wrote it...

Me: It came from a blog

The Boy: hmm...

 The Boy: They will let anyone write anything these days...

The Boy: Whatever happened to having to get your papers published before people can read it...

The Boy: it got rid of all the idiots out there

Me: It's a freedom of speech country (and writing)

The Boy: Just because they say it doesn't mean anyone should listen

Me: What did u say.....      

Sometimes saying less is best with The Boy.  From now on if he gets all smarty pants with me or says stuff I don't like, I'm just going to pretend I don't hear him.  After all, he's given me permission now not to listen.  I don't have too!   I think all those good grades in writing are going to his head.  We've always known he was a computer genius, but now a great writer too.  Before long he really is going to be a "know it all".  We're getting our money's worth at that college.   Who can stand it??

One of the BEST Motivational Videos I've ever seen!

I love this!  Another reminder for me to never ever give up!  Never let set backs stop me.  Keep moving forward.  (Sounds like my marathon/Ironman mantra)  Don't be afraid ask for and/or go after what I want.   I love the little boy on the bike at the end of this video.  Future triathlete? Reminds me of The Boy.

I'm so proud of The Boy for never giving up.  All the parent teacher conferences we went through from 1st grade to 12th grade.  (Having to go through 1st grade twice because we didn't know what was wrong)  Sticking with the regular academic degree even when the occupational one was suggested for him. (It would have been the easier way out of high school, but not the best and not for The Boy!)

Dealing with the bad teachers who just didn't give a crap or really didn't understand.  Luckily, the bad or uncaring teachers were in the minority in his school and he was lucky enough to have some of the best special ed teachers.  Getting the help he needed to get through school even before he was officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome in 8th grade.  And now he is excelling in college with very little accommodations.

He rocks!