Outside the Box

My blogging and facebook friend, All over the Spectrum, did the above ecard for me the other day since I've been feeling sickly and puny. I don't really know what's going on with me, but I think I've developed some sort of weird motion sickness triggered by the Murph's erratic (very careful, deliberate and always on time) driving. All I know for sure is that we've been spending way too much time in the car this summer and not enough time with our feet in the sand.

The cats are even rebelling. Phantom ran and hid under the bed this morning even though I was very careful not to give away the fact we were about to leave and his tail was going to be trapped in the cat carrier for hours.

Ed and Cadence, who we left behind for a couple of days, decided to start peeing outside their litter box. We still don't know if this was a deliberate, rebellious act or if one of them just has bad aim. I prefer to think that they are just super creative, out of the box thinkers. We got kitty geniuses on our hands. Maybe one of them will get a job!

That's all for today. My fingers are fatigued from all this typing. I do post updates on my facebook page and photos on Instagram from today's vet visit where the Murph and I had some time to kill so we went to Chewacla state park in Auburn, Alabama.

You can also LIKE Konabarbie on Facebook.

FOLLOW me on Instagram.

Phantom also has his own Facebook page where he posts updates on his battle with cancer or anything else he finds interesting when he has computer access. 

I'll post more on his vet visit today soon.

If you like me on FB or follow me on Instagram, leave a comment and I'll "like" or "follow" you back.

Gotta run!

It Was The Shoes That Distracted Me...

Charlotte Olympia velvet pumps

This morning as always I got on facebook to see what was going on in all my FB friend's worlds since the night before.  I didn't get very far when I saw Net-a-Porters new status update featuring these pussy cat pumps.  Being a cat lover, it caught my attention immediately so I clicked on the link and quickly became immersed in all Net-A-Porter's new arrivals.  Click here to see all the cuteness for yourself, but be warned this is extremely time consuming and will take up most of your day.

Below are just a handful of the things I love and are now on my wish list.

Burberry Merino wool scarf

Juicy Couture cashmere track pants

Juicy Couture cashmere hooded jacket

T By Alexander Wang

Mara Hoffman georgette beach dress

Herve Leger

Ksubi Distressed Boyfriend Jeans

And an all time favorite that look very much like my Michael Kors Rain boots or I would already have purchased a pair....

Hunter Rain boots

Because of the shoe distraction, I was an hour and 1/2 late going to the gym to work out this morning.  This made The Murph late too since he was nice enough to wait for me.  I just told him my computer was being really, really slow this morning and I had some really "important" things to do before I left.  I'm probably going to stay away from pinterest today so I can at least get some things done around the house.  Our second annual Christmas party is coming up in a couple of weeks and our house looks more like Christmas elves vomited all over it rather than the look I was going for, which was more of a professional interior decorated look.  I guess if I wanted a professional design look I should have hired a professional!



Note- I am not getting compensated in any way for the items in this post or from Net-a-Porter.  These are just things I personally like. 

Helicopter Parent

Yesterday someone I went to high school with who is now a college professor updated her status on facebook with -


"Dear helicopter parents of the 1990s: thanks so much for making college teaching harder. Explaining there are no trophies for showing up and that rules apply to everyone makes for a long, tedious day."


I was confused because I had no freaking clue what a helicopter parent was.  No clue.  So being the inquisitive, google savvy person that I am, I did a google search of the term and learned that a helicopter parent is one that is overly involved in their children's lives to the point that they smother the child by their "hovering" much like a helicopter hovers.


These parents are the ones that never let their children out of their sight to play outside because they might get hurt or abducted.  Jungle gyms and swing sets can be too dangerous and so they are banned from the playground.  If a teacher grades the child's work too harshly the parent is at the school to confront them.


 As the children get older these parents pick colleges, majors, fill out applications, etc for these children.  Parents have even been known to negotiate salaries for their adult children getting their first jobs.  


This kind of over involvement cripples the child making it almost impossible to make any decisions in their lives.  They have no respect for authority figures and they grow up feeling entitled.  Shouldn't they get extra credit just for showing up to class?  Those deadlines don't really apply to them,  do they?  


 I can understand why this would drive college professors and employers crazy.


My heart sank when I read all those things because I came to a very disturbing realization.  


 Oh no!  That's me!!  I'm a helicopter parent! 


Now I have the correct terminology for something I have been for years.  And college professors HATE me.  Now I understand why The Boy's college tried (notice I said "tried") to refuse to talk to me last summer when I was doing whatever I could to get him accepted last minute into the college he decided he wanted to go to. (I thought he wanted to go to a Junior college near home for a year or two).  He changed his mind. 


 Now I know why the college wouldn't let any parents within a 20 mile radius when it was time for the student's to register for fall classes at orientation. 


 Now I know why after a brief intro meeting the first morning of orientation, the took the students in one direction and put all the parents in a big bus and sent us on a "tour".


My one saving point is that I didn't become a helicopter parent willingly.  Really, I didn't.  It was a necessity brought on by the fact The Boy has Asperger's.  I did encourage The Boy to become independent and do things on his own.  I would push, but I would always be nearby.  In part because if I wasn't nearby The Boy would refuse to participate in birthday parties, sports, playing outside, swimming etc.  


Believe me, I would rather NOT know what the top of the tunnel in the germ filled playground at McDonald's or the inside of the ball pit at Chuck E Cheeses is like.  Fact is if I didn't agree to go up in them, The Boy never would have either.  And bribery doesn't work.  I tried.


It is a fine line for parents with children with special needs to walk.  On the one hand we want our children to become independent, but on the way they do need us more than other children.  Does that really make me fall into the helicopter parent definition?  I hope not.  I took this survey online to find out if I fit the definition of helicopter parent (yes, I'm that paranoid) and the results were that I have found a balance.  


Whew!  What a relief!  To think for a second I might be one of THOSE! 


This helicopter parent phenomena really explains a lot though.  Now I know why the outside park down the street doesn't have real grass.  It has this fake squishy stuff that looks like grass but has cushioning for falls so no little tyke gets bruised or scraped up.  What was our parents thinking when they made us climb on jungle gyms with packed dirt or gravel down below?  Or concrete!   


The Murph and I were in the park a while back and went over to the playground to check out all the fancy play stuff.  A kid's dream world.  And all we had was plain silver bars to climb on when we were kids.  If you fell off one you fell on dirt and broke your arm.  Did our parents just not love us enough?


Now I realize this is the perfect example of a playground designed by our generation, the helicopter parents to help preserve and protect and smother and cripple the next generation, our kids.


Don't get me wrong, the playground is AWESOME!  I wish I had that as a kid.  I feel deprived!  I can't say I turned out ok.  I guess I did though.  My mother never had to do any of my homework for me and she didn't negotiate my salary in my first job out of college (although I sure wish somebody would have) and I 'm certainly not negotiating The Boy's salary when he gets out of college.  


His dad will have to do that.