Special Needs Ryan Gosling - Week 2

It's Friday! Yay!

Today I'm linking up again with Adventures in Extreme Parenthood with my very own Special Needs Ryan Gosling meme. Every Friday a group of parents, most who have children on the autism spectrum, but not necessarily, link up with their own creative SNRG memes. Anyone can link up, whether you have a child with autism, a child with another disability or no child at all, but you think Ryan is hot or you're the creative type and just want to do a meme.

Here's my SN Ryan Gosling contribution for the week.

Because sometimes even NT's could use a little social skills training.

Head on over to Extreme Parenthood for more extremely clever Ryan Gosling memes created by the best autism warrior parents ever!

Accommodations, Appointments And An Open House

This week has been a bit hectic. Since the Boy is away at school most of the time, I'm just not use to it anymore. I can barely remember those crazy days when I was a single mom trying to get the Boy to school on time and me to work on time.

Rarely happened! I still patted myself on the back every single day that we made it to where we were suppose to go. It didn't matter if we were a little late, a little wrinkled and more than a little stressed out.

My bar was set low. How else could I be successful! A bar too set to high back in those days and I would have failed miserably.

It all started Saturday. We made our biweekly trip to Birmingham with the sick cat. Our mission this time was:

1.  To do an Open House on Sunday in hopes to find a buyer for our Birmingham house.

2.  Meet with AL Rehab with the Boy regarding his accommodations for Fall semester.

3.  Appointment with the Boy's doctor to go over ADD med and anxiety meds before Fall semester.

4.  Take Phantom to Auburn University on the way back to Pensacola for another round of blood testing to make sure the chemo was doing what it is suppose to and not doing anything it's not suppose too.

The open house went well. Lots of people came by, including coincidentally, the AL Rehab counselor that we were meeting with the very next day. She had no idea it was our house until she came inside and the Murph recognized her name. I overheard from the office/man cave and came out. She's downsizing too so our house was a little too much. It's a family house. It's too much for us now that the "kids" are grown. Her kids are grown too.

It's strange, but we get several empty nesters who want to "downsize" come look at our house. I guess downsizing is relative.

Phantom was very happy to be back. I started Phantom on the Advanced Immunity Protocol and it worked wonders overnight. It's a three part system that has so many different immunity building things in it that it blows my mind. All I know is after one dose, I got my Phantom back. Purring and happy and spending time with us instead of under the bed.

The meeting with AL Rehab went well. They provide some of the Boy's college financing and make sure he gets the accommodations he needs, such as extended test taking time, taking his tests in another room or at the Special Student Services building if needed. He can have a recorder, his laptop, etc. The Special Student Svcs Counselor provides a letter for him to give to all of his professors every semester. I have to get the letter or the list of accommodations to AL Rehab so they will continue to provide support. They will also transition him from college to the work force if needed.

The only snag came because the apartment the Boy lives in will no longer be billed through the university so the only way AL Rehab will provide a portion of the rent is if the management fills out a vendor application. That way AL Rehab will pay them directly. They never give the money directly to the students. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to get in touch with the apartment management!

I think it was finally taken care of after many phone calls, emails and faxing and refaxing, but I really don't know yet because they never answer the phone. Now that the Boy is back, he can go by the office in person and make sure it's done.

The doctor appointment was fast and basically we just got another 1/2 years worth of prescriptions. I'm hoping the Boy weans off the anxiety meds and starts something more holistic. The doctor said there isn't anything as good as the conventional meds. It has made a tremendous difference on the Boy's entire attitude so I'm good with him taking them for now.

The Boy didn't stress me out one single time. He has matured so much! No more meowing, biting me, poking me, getting all in my personal space until I just want to scream! We actually had adult like conversations and I really enjoyed being around him. He got a new car and his dad taught him how to drive a stick shift in one day. I rode with him most of the way back to school because he was nervous about driving with the manual transmission. Also, he hasn't driven in almost a year!

My job was to keep him relaxed, he said. He also warned me that it was going to be a bumpy ride.

He did great! We all made it safely home and the Boy is ready to start another school year. This Fall he actually has a paid internship. This is one reason why he needed a car.

Because of all the things going on with the Boy, we had to reschedule the trip to Auburn for Phantom. Instead I made an appointment with a local vet in Pensacola to do the blood work. They will fax it to Auburn. I have conflicted feelings about giving Phantom the chemo type drug, Palladia. He seems to be doing great on it, but I have concerns about long term use. His appointment with the local vet is tomorrow so I will decide then if I am keeping him on it or going entirely holistic.

It's a tough call. I hope I do the right thing!

Update

image from fergieonfilm.com

I know I haven't kept up with blogging very well this week. Travel weeks are not good weeks for me these days! I'm ready for the Birmingham house to be sold or rented so we don't have to keep going back and forth there every other week. Now we have to detour through Auburn, Alabama for Phantom on the way back and next time we go we'll be adding a trip to get the Boy, which adds another hour and 1/2 to the overall trip.

It's an endless merry-go-round from hell around here these days!

Phantom looking hungry after the appetite stimulant I gave him.

On a positive note:  Phantom's calcium levels are down so that means the Palladia pills are helping him. The vet said it would not cure him, but if he handles the pills well it might prevent the spread of the cancer to other organs. Right now it is in 90% of his liver so prognosis is not good. I'm going to stay positive though. He's eating, drinking and doesn't seem to be in any kind of pain. At the end of this month he will get to see his boy again when we take both of them back to the ham with us.

The Boy has a doctor appointment to see if he needs to stay on the lexapro (he does!) or some other kind of medication for anxiety and we have our annual appointment with AL Rehab to go over his accommodations for this coming school year. It just so happened to all come together for him because he's finished with his summer internship program and starts his new internship for fall when he gets back to school. Both are paying positions which is good. He needs the money especially since his apartment is more expensive than the dorm, but less depressing for him. He was very isolated when he was in the dorm his freshman year.

Phantom will be very happy to see the Boy and vice versa.

We have to get Phantom's blood tested again that week as well and I may see if I can take him to his regular vet which is nearby, instead of Auburn where he has to be in the car an extra two hours. When we took him Wednesday for a blood test, I thought it would only take an hour, but we got there at 8 am and didn't leave until 12. The Murph and I had another "tour" of Auburn which included breakfast at Chappy's and a trip to Chewacla state park, about 15 minutes away.

Pretty waterfall at Chewacla State Park

We found the park by typing in "attractions' on the GPS. If you are following me on Instagram, you probably saw some of the above waterfall pictures. It was fun climbing around on the rocks although I kept my eyes open for snakes. I'm not fond of water moccasins.

We had already done the fine art museum and Pebble Hill and we're running out of "attractions" to visit in order to kill time as we are waiting for Phantom.

An arboretum came up on the attractions list, but neither the Murph nor I knew exactly what an arboretum was. At first I thought it might involve birds, but that is called an aviary.

image from agadams.co.uk

Now I know it's a botanical garden with trees and stuff.

image from facebook.com

Someone also suggested getting a lemonade at Toomer's Corners. Those are on our "to do" list for next time. After his next blood test in two weeks, Phantom won't have to go back for 4 to 6 weeks.

Next time I'm going to find a vet hospital in Vegas, baby. More things to do to kill time!

Just joking, of course! Auburn Veterinarian hospital is a great place to take your pets. I just wish my cat was healthy and didn't have to go there, but if they can't help Phantom nobody can. Besides, I don't think Phantom would appreciate the plane ride to Vegas any more than the car rides to Auburn although he is a much better traveler than I am. At the moment, he's not very happy with me shoving pills and nasty drops down his throat. The Boy says Phantom would really appreciate what I'm doing for him if he understood. I'll take the Boy's word for it. It's his cat after all.

The Boy's Visit

This morning I got up early to drive the three hour round trip to get the Boy from college and bring him back to stay with us for the weekend. These visits seem to keep getting more and more rare as he would rather stay at school most of the time. I figured he must be running out of food and/or money and he knows we will feed him when he's with us. He did make sure we were taking him out to eat before he decided to visit us and I got him breakfast this morning on the way back. It really wasn't that difficult getting on the road early since the last few weeks I've been up with the cats watching the sun rise.

On the way back I asked the Boy if he was out of any toiletries are anything and he said no. We stopped at Walmart Marketplace anyway because he wanted something to drink, meaning soft drinks because he knows we don't buy them and keep them in the house. He wanted Dr. Pepper and ended up getting Walmart's version, Dr. Thunder.

 Just kind of scary if you ask me. Why Dr. Thunder? How does Dr. Pepper translate into the Walmart Dr. Thunder version.

While I was there I thought of the Murph and got him another 12 pack of his drink of choice. At least that is one of them. 

Since the Boy is always complaining about being hungry, the Murph planned ahead of time and put a plate of pasta and chicken parm in the fridge with the Boy's name on it, complete with heating instructions.

On the hour and 1/2 drive back to the beach, the Boy and I got to catch up on things. We talked about several things like....

1. The possibility that Phantom might have cancer and what to do next

2.  How the Boy liked his student assistance job (He likes it)

3. If his room mate was still eating the Boy's food (Not anymore)

4. Phantom

5. The importance of the Boy keeping a clean and sanitary apartment, especially bathroom

   (He thinks it's clean, but when I saw his bath room it was pretty gross)

6. What we were going to do about Phantom

7. There's no way Phantom has cancer (says the Boy)

8. The fact that Phantom's bedroom is where the Boy sleeps and there's cat hair all over the bed, but I didn't think the Boy would mind since it's still a cleaner room than what he's been living in for the past several months because he refuses to do what I say and CLEAN his apartment! (He thought I was joking about that part (because he knows I usually clean everything for him) until he saw the cat hair)

9. The possibility that Phantom might have cancer and what to do next

As you can tell, we talked about Phantom ALOT. I did hear from the vet yesterday and had another call today and we are still unsure what is causing the high calcium levels in Phantom's blood. His thyroid is good. We've ruled out pretty much everything but cancer. The vet called some specialists at Auburn University and Michigan State to try to find out if they had blood test to detect cancer in cats. Michigan State has one and so now I just have to arrange for Phantom to get blood taken and shipped to them to be tested. He's also going to get another physical to check his mouth and glands in his neck since he keeps licking his lips and his breath smells really bad. 

Now I just have to decide if I should wait 2 weeks until we get back to Birmingham for the tests or take him to a new vet in Gulf Breeze next week. I'm thinking I should go ahead and take him next week and try to coordinate all the tests with my Birmingham vet and the new Gulf Breeze vet that a friend recommended.

Today Phantom's doing much better. He seems to love having the Boy back. Sometimes I wonder if he's just depressed when he seems to be feeling really bad. It's hard to tell with a cat! We know he's sick though because he does have heart disease and something causing this high calcium in his blood.

 It was a good day. I love having the Boy visit and we now have more options on what to do with Phantom instead of  "just wait and see." Phantom has been such a great pet for the Boy. I plan to do everything I can to help him get better if that is possible.

Another awesome sunset this evening!

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow... Or Rather Gone Last Night Sometime Before Midnight

We didn't have candles so we used matches. The top two = 20 and the bottom one = 1 = 21!

The Boy spent a couple of days with us during the Memorial Day weekend partly because he was bored and out of food at his college apartment and partly because his birthday is this Wednesday and he needed to get around as many family members as possible to get his birthday loot aka MONEY!! Money to buy food since his meal plan for last semester is over.

Sunday I took him out to eat at his favorite Mexican restaurant, Margarita Grill. The same place I went with the Babysitter for Cinco de Mayo and had to leave sans my taco salad because of the wildness of the place. Sunday it was calmer and a very nice day for outdoor dining as well.

Below are some fuzzy pics taken with my new Iphone 5. I now have Instagram. Hope that works better...

Chicken Chimichanga

This time I got my chicken taco salad and ate almost every bit of it. The first time ever accomplishing that feat.  The Boy got a chicken chimichanga with rice and beans and of course we got chips, salsa and cheese dip.  Later we had birthday cake and the first thing the Boy said was, "Why blue roses?" I tell him it's because he's a boy and the other alternative was pink roses. He was cool with the pink roses he tells me. Oh well, too bad. Next year I'll get pink!

Chicken taco salad

On Monday, he and the friend that he was riding back to school with decide they are going to leave around 9 pm, after the Boy gets back from eating out at his other favorite place, The Cheesecake Factory, with his dad and grandparents. I tried to convince him to stay at least until this morning, but he said his friend really wanted to go back Monday night.  Then at 10 pm when the Boy still wasn't home or packed to go back to school, I text him telling him he needed to wait until Tuesday morning to leave since it was so late and he still wasn't home yet.

No response.

Around 10:30 pm the two show up at the house to get the Boy's stuff preparing to head back to school that night which meant they wouldn't get to school until 2:30 in the morning. When I tell him no, it's too late, he called me a jerk and said the PLAN was to go back that night. Staying would screw up the PLAN! He can't mess up the PLAN!!

Neither the Murph nor I could convince them to stay at least until morning even though I felt driving that late was dangerous and I didn't like it one bit.

After much name calling (apparently I'm a huge jerk), I finally tell him he's an adult (21 years old tomorrow!) and could do what he wanted, but I still didn't think it was a good idea. His friend said he wasn't tired one bit since he'd just woke up at 3 pm and would be okay to drive that late, he's driven it before at 4 am, he said.  I told them I was getting ready to go to bed so they needed to be out before I was finished so I could set the alarm.

When the Boy got all packed up he came upstairs to tell me good-bye and wanted to know if he should call me when he got to school. I told him at 2 in the morning I would be asleep, but to text me to let me know he had gotten there safely. He said okay.

In the morning, no text. No text until he finally woke up sometime after noon.

While I really want him to be independent and to do things for himself, I know that things can still happen. He has Asperger's and sometimes not the best judgement. The Murph still says I'm a helicopter parent, but I don't think that applies to me at all anymore. I've loosened the reigns and allowed the Boy to be more independent than I probably would have if I was still single and it was just the two of us. In a way, that's been a good thing for both of us.

The Boy still depends on me to get his financial aid in order for the upcoming school years. Since we just got our federal income tax return back, I had to go to UPS to fax a copy to the school. While we were there, the Murph was telling the owner of the store what a helicopter parent I was by doing all the work for the Boy. I defend myself by saying, "I have to be a little bit of a helicopter parent because my son has Asperger's, have you ever heard of it, it's on the autism spectrum?"

The owner nodded her head toward her daughter who was in the back working on a computer and said,  "She has Asperger's. I don't have to be a helicopter parent because she's right there with me all the time."

I started talking to the daughter who had helped us several times when we were in the store and she told me that she had been to a private college for about a year but had to quit because of severe depression and anxiety. So severe she couldn't even go to class. I told her that the Boy had experienced the same thing his first year and had to go on anti-depressants.

It also helped that he has a friend at the same college that he's known since 3rd grade. They now share an apartment with one other person, but have their own private bedroom and bathroom. It's almost like him having his own private dorm room, which he liked, but more homey and not so lonely because there are others to share a common area with whenever he feels like coming out of his room. (I don't know if any of them come out of their room that often except to go to class though).

I'm really glad the Boy is doing well and WANTS to get back to his own apartment and school. It could have so easily gone the other way and he could be back at home. Fortunately (I guess),  he doesn't even like it here anymore. It's tough sometimes knowing when to let go and when to pull in the reigns. As the Boy gets older it is REALLY tough! He still needs me when he needs me, yet he needs me to back away when he needs me to back away. It's usually up to me to figure it out.

I might not like it sometimes, but I think that this "helicopter parent" is doing her job helicopter or not!

I'm Officially Hiding Out And It's Necessary For My Sanity

I have to confess that I've been avoiding the Boy as much as possible these days. It's so much easier than it use to be now the he's away a college! He use to always find me when he was home, even when I didn't answer his screams for "MOM!!" I would be as silent as possible as I listened to him running through the house screaming my name until he eventually found me. These days though it's not so easy for the poor guy to find his mom when she doesn't want to be found.

Image from paypal.com

What has made me avoid him lately? Well what doesn't, but the latest thing that has made me avoid him like the plague is his new "business venture" idea.

I guess it's is an Asperger thing, obsessive interests and such, but whenever he gets his mind on something he can be brutal. Just brutal!

The latest is his idea to create this product (that is highly secret so I can't say what it is on here) and then sell it on ebay. The only problem is he doesn't really know how to sell on ebay and felt he needed someone more established and experienced on ebay to sell his new item.

That's where I come in. Not that I've ever sold anything on ebay or anything like that and he knows this so that's not where I come in.

Here's where I come in.

He called me a few weeks ago to ask me if I knew anybody who could sell it for him on ebay. My mistake was ( before getting more information) saying, "Why yes, I know a couple of people. I'll ask them." After that he called my every single day, morning and night to find out if I had asked them and gotten their email address so he could contact them.

He need to "discuss" things with them he said.

It was my understanding that all he needed was someone to put these items on ebay for him and when the items sold, these people would get 20% commission and the Boy would get the rest. What I didn't know was the Boy needed about $3000 to get the components to build these items in the first place and was going to try to get these ebay friends of mine to front him the money!

WTF!

Good thing I found out about this scheme BEFORE I called them or gave the Boy their contact information. After getting this last bit of information (that I should have found out in the first place),  I told the Boy to just forget about it.

 Focus on school work. Get an hourly job on campus. This wasn't the time to invest in a business. Wait until you graduate!

I reminded him of that last business when he and a friend had "incorporated" and we're still dealing with the tax ramifications on a corporation that existed, but not really even though legally it did according to the government and a bunch of legal papers.

Try explaining it to the government. "Well uhhhhh, they were just 17 years old and still in high school and the business never made a profit and really isn't a business at all because they never had time to build it because they had school work to do so do they really have to pay that $2000 in penalties and back tax?"

No, I don't want to go there again!

I hope the Boy can't find me!

This Week's 5k Run For Another Great Cause - Transverse Myelitis

Run 4 Mike 5k

A few months ago a good friend of ours who knew I liked to run asked if I would do a 5k run for Transverse Myelitis. Her 30 year old son was diagnosed with TM a year or two ago when he woke up one morning paralysed. He eventually was able to walk again, but TM is a very scary and unpredictable disease of the spinal cord. There is no know cause or cure right now and it can leave patients permanently disabled or worse since it can be fatal.

I agreed to race in honor of her son and raise money for research to help find a cure for this terrible disease. The run was called the Run 4 Mike, named after Mike L. Jezdimir, who was diagnosed with TM in the 1960's. You can read more about the Mike L. Jezdimir Transverse Myelitis Foundation here.
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It was a beautiful day and a perfect course on paved trails in Veteran's Park in Alabaster, Alabama about 30 or 40 minutes south of Birmingham. The course was a couple of loops in one part and then an out and back the last mile which had a few more rolling hills, but nothing too bad. I've been using these 5k's as speed work since I haven't done real speed work in years. I took off as fast as I could and was in the overall lead for almost two miles before a guy passed me. I thought it was pretty cool to be behind the cyclist who was showing us where to go with no other runners ahead of me, temporarily at least.

Me with Mike

When we hit the hills around 2 1/2 miles another guy passed me, but I held on to be the third person to cross the finish line and the first female overall. I forgot to start my watch and I'm not sure but I think the time when I crossed the finish line was 22:34 or something, but I'm really not sure. All I know is my first mile was 7:24 minute mile. I felt pretty strong the entire way and only briefly felt nauseous on the hills, but it went away before I crossed the finish line.

Several of our friends were walking the 5k course for Team Daniel and wore white t shirts and white ball caps with a blue ribbon for Transverse Myelitis. I love the fringe! I would've worn one, but I think I would have gotten it all sweaty by the time I finished the run. I wore the same Lulumon tank that I wore in the Rumpshaker 5k because it fits so well, holds everything in and I love that it has wider straps that crisscross in the back. They don't dig into my shoulders and the material wicks so no sweaty wetness. I think I'm going back to Lulumon's and purchase another tank similar to this if they still carry them. I bought the one I wore during this run a couple of years ago.

Overall, a great race for a great cause. Maybe next year I will form a team for the Autism 5k (which was the one I did last weekend here) in honor of my son. The Murph and I were trying to come up with a cool Aspergerish team name but couldn't think of anything cool. My suggestions were Team Asparagus or Team Hamburgers, but the Murph said nobody would get it. Any good ideas?

Go Team Daniel!

More pictures of the fun from Facebook page of Alabama Transverse Myelitis Awareness.

Just So You Know If You Didn't Already...

Add caption

I thought I'd better get this in before April 3 rolls around and then it would be too late. Just for the record I did NOT wear blue today, not because I don't believe in and support autism awareness, but because blue really isn't my best color. I am, however, wearing pink. The Murph wouldn't let me put blue light bulbs outside either so we are not going blue anywhere outside either. The Murph does have a blue shirt on that says Jazz pure cool. We will pretend he's autism aware!

Sorry!

Poor Murph has become more autism aware over the past two plus years since we've been together than he ever thought he would be. (or wanted to be!) After being around the Boy for those years he jokes with me that autistic people are hard to be around. He doesn't like it! I explained to him that the Boy is only one example and not all autistic people are like the Boy. The Boy really isn't that bad most of the time. Just difficult some of the time and those times can usually be prevented if we plan ahead of time for them.

Our version of light up the blue

The Murph still has some awareness coming to him!

The Murph told me not to forget to mention the 5k run for autism I am doing this weekend. I will probably wear pink then too. Coincidentally, the autism society is doing the walk/ run here in Birmingham on the same day as where the Boy goes to school. I told him about the race and suggested he do it, but he wasn't convinced.

The Boy may or may not be wearing blue today for autism awareness, but no matter what color he's wearing, I just hope it is clean and wrinkle free.  Okay, forget wrinkle free. If it's just clean I will be a happy mom. Even when he was living at home with me, he didn't make it to school with wrinkle free clothing. Neither one of us did because I don't iron. It's a hazard for me to handle anything that gets that hot.

My refusal to iron my ex-husband's dress shirts is one of the reasons we are divorced.

Now I hope you become as aware of autism as we are! It's all fun really!

Busy

Last week was busy, but this one is starting out that way too. The Boy is back at school without his comforter or his meds so I had to UPS them to him yesterday. I still don't know what he's is going to do with his car that he hasn't driven in three years. It's still sitting in our driveway. Uninsured with an expired tag. It will have to be towed to it's next destination if these things aren't taken care of. It's not on me or the Murph to take care of this time. We've done our part in the car saga.

It is a never ending saga and I'm sick of it at this point!

Phantom is doing well. He's on a diuretic for his heart and probiotics for his stomach issues. He's very light weight now and easy to carry around which is something he doesn't let me do very often. The painters are here painting this week so all the cats are in hiding during the day. I'm hoping the stress doesn't make Phantom's murmur worse.

The Murph and I are having to juggle our workouts around the painters and I'm working on sorting through the mess in the Boy's area. He took what he wanted and the rest is left up to me to decide whether to store or give away to charity. I finished one room yesterday and will start the bedroom today. It's not as bad as I thought it would be since I already got rid of most of it when I sold my house and moved in here. This is the second go around. The Boy said all his games can go. He doesn't play them anymore. His cousin looked through them but already had most of them and once you get to the top level apparently they are done with them forever. No reason to play them after that.

The Boy has gone through computer games like Flight Simulator and the Sims, Playstation, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Wii, and  Xbox (I think that's it, no there's the small gaming thing but I don't remember what it was called), a long time ago. He moved on to online games from there and now he says he done with them. He doesn't have time to play them now anyway. That's a good thing!

If I could just get him to remember things like his meds, his toiletry items and his bedding that would be good.