The Girl Graduates From College

We had an exciting weekend especially Saturday!  The Girl graduated from college.  The Murph is such a proud papa.  The weather cooperated and it was a beautiful and sunny day.  The ceremony started early before the heat made things unbearable.  The Murph and I behaved and hopefully weren't too much of an embarrassment.  Actually, the Murph and I are pretty cool so I'm sure we are definitely never an embarrassment to the "kids."

I am really thrilled that nowThe Girl is planning on attending graduate school and getting a Masters in Music Therapy.  I think this is the perfect field for her and she will be working with Autism and Alzheimer patients who really need this kind of therapy.

I have to say I'm a little jealous of The Murph.  He had it so easy with The Girl.  No IEP meetings, no messy parent/teacher conferences, no homework fights or up at midnight doing last minute projects you didn't know about.  The list goes on and on!

From my experience it seems girls in general are easier when it comes to schooling, but girl's without special needs, who make good grades and do their work and are responsible are so I've died and gone to heaven easier.  If only The Boy had been that easy.  Those 10 years would be added back on to my life!

One down, one to go!  And he is TROUBLE!!  His grades last semester are good so I can't complain.  Issues and drama have already started and he hasn't even been home long.  One big thing he is having a hard time adapting too is that the kitchen here is not the same as his school cafeteria. It's also not a restaurant.  We don't take orders.

We plan what we are going to eat, we cook, we eat.  If he doesn't want what we are serving, he doesn't have to eat it.  He can make himself a sandwich.  We don't cook multiple things.  There is no menu.

He needs to learn how to make himself a sandwich.

There are numerous other issues including getting a summer job.  He wants one, it's just hard trying to find one it seems.  That's the project this week.

It's Friday- Time for Special Needs Ryan Gosling

Once again it's Friday and I am participating in the Special needs Ryan Gosling meme started by Sunday Stillwell at http://www.extremeparenthood.com/ -Adventures in Extreme Parenthood.  You can find more of these on her blog.

It's so great to not have to go through those IEP meetings anymore.  I was clueless during most of the IEP years because The Boy wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until almost high school.   During the beginning years I was just grateful for ANYTHING the school offered him, including speech therapy before he even started kindergarten.

Mrs. F, The Boy's speech therapist in elementary school was a blessing to us.  The Boy started speech therapy with her when he was just 3 years old, after his preschool teachers were concerned about his speech.

These first teachers actually thought he had a hearing problem which we quickly ruled out through testing.  They also were the ones who told me to contact the school because he might be eligible for free speech therapy even though he was two years away from going to kindergarten.

We were so lucky to get him in with Mrs. F, the speech therapist.  By the time he started kindergarten he was already familiar with the elementary school (after going there 2 or 3 time a week for two years) and he was in speech with Mrs. F from age 3 until third grade.

During the elementary school years,  she recommended the teachers she thought would work best with The Boy and so every year I didn't worry.   He was always placed with teachers that he liked and worked well with.  That didn't always happen during middle and high schools when he had to change classes and had a different teacher for every subject.

It wasn't necessarily the IEP meetings that were the worst.  I actually only remember two IEP meetings when I didn't agree with what the school.  One was his Junior year when they were going to take away one of his accommodations which let him turn work in late.

 He was going to loose this accommodation starting his Senior year, which they said would help "prepare" him for college.  I sucked it up and decided not to try to fight it and in the end, The Boy didn't need it anyway.  He was pretty motivated his Senior year to get out of that place.

The worst meetings were the parent/teacher meetings that I had to schedule when one or more of the teachers weren't following the IEP or were just clueless about The Boy's differences.  It seemed like EVERY year during middle school that there was at least one teacher who was completely inflexible and was just going to stay that way no matter what.

Most of the other teachers were very accommodating and almost all of his special ed teachers were extremely helpful, but limited on what they could do since during middle school he was just diagnosed with ADD, which basically didn't get you much back then.  Having an Asperger's diagnosis changed everything for The Boy when he made it to high school.

However, during 6th grade I had at least twelve of these parent/teacher meetings throughout the year and The Boy ended up having to go to summer school anyway.  The Boy actually liked summer school and did well there.  He had to attend summer school after his Freshman and Sophomore years too.

Having less classes to focus on was very beneficial to him during the summer.  During a normal semester of school, he struggled trying to keep up with 5 or 6 classes.  I always thought he would have done better if the semesters were shorter with 3 or 4 during a normal school year instead of 2 and each semester having only 2 or 3 classes at a time.

Who knows.  I'm just glad he's out of high school.  He is too!

Birthday Cake and Pizza

My sweet Murph got me a cake for my birthday.  I love birthday cakes, but I am the only one who eats  sweets around here other than Phantom the cat and he doesn't need it.  The Murph won't eat cake at all. It's hit or miss with The Boy.

That's ok though.  I can eat enough for everybody.   I will eat it even if I shouldn't.  Birthday cakes make getting another year older worthwhile.  Almost.  

This cake was a very delicious pink, strawberry cake with vanilla butter cream icing.    Tonight the Murph was going to take me out to eat to a very nice restaurant to celebrate my birthday.  I opted out since I went out to lunch yesterday with my mom and I ate a little too much.  That was one reason.  The real reason was that I really just wanted to stay in tonight.

It's a good thing I told him I didn't want to go out because the Devils are playing the Rangers tonight in hockey and I can't believe The Murph was willing to miss this game to take my out to eat for my birthday.  He should have told me!!

We stayed in and ordered pizza.  And of course, had beer and margaritas.  Beer for The Murph.  Margaritas for me.

Everything ended up working out great.  The Murph gets to stay home and watch this very important game and I get to stay home with my bestest guy, that would be The Murph,  my favorite cat boy and the out of control cats.

Pizza and cake.  I am stuffed!

Now if only the Rangers win.  It's not looking good right now!

Lunch With Mom and The Cat Boy

Phantom's new spot

The Boy and I took my mom out to lunch today for a belated mother's day celebration.  We waited until today since The Boy was with his dad this weekend and I thought my mom would want to see him.   I was hoping that since The Boy has spent one entire year in college, that he would outgrow some of his unusual and embarrassing "cat" behavior.  (He identifies a little to closely with the family cats.)

No such luck.

We had barely sat down in the restaurant when The Boy starts up with his old behavior.  The cat behavior.  For the past few years, whenever we are in public, The Boy starts meowing at me loudly.  If I ignore him, which I try to do hoping he'll stop, he will then start rubbing his head on my shoulder, meowing and purring.  Very loudly.  

I have tried everything to try to make him stop.  Ignoring him is my last hope.  My mom was sitting on the other side of the table, witnessing this very unusual and embarrassing behavior.  The look on her face was exactly the same look I 've seen on other family members and friends who have been unfortunate enough to witness it.

I thought he would out grow it.  That he would mature in college.  That he would forget the behavior since he's not around our cats so much anymore or just not do it because it's too embarrassing for him.

No such luck.

Lucky for me, the restaurant was fairly empty today and there was no waitress nearby when he was performing the cat behavior.  I threatened him that if he didn't stop, I was turning him into the humane society, giving him a rabies shot,  having him declawed.  In return, he growled at me.

And bit me on the arm. 

 Oh, the look on my mom's face when he did that!  

He follows me around meowing when we are home, but why does he go overboard with it when we are in public?  He doesn't seem as bad when we are home, but maybe I just don't notice it as much because there's nobody to witness it but me and The Murph. 

I've decided to start calling him "Cat Boy" until he stops.  I've already been bitten twice by the cats this week, both the real one and the pretend one.  This house is out of control!

Phantom and Boo "bonding"

Wide loads!

Happy Mother's Day To My Mom

Mom holding me and that's my dad's arm

This is me and my mom when I was a baby.  I am very lucky to have her close by.  I don't know what I would have done without her when The Boy was younger.  She helped out a lot when I had to work and he was out of school for holidays or summer vacation.  I don't know what I would have done without her help.

My mom and me

Here's my mom when she was a baby.  She had a wonderful mom too - my grandmother who passed away about 9 years ago when The Boy was 10 years old.

My mom

My mom with her mom - my grandmother

And below is four generations of my family with me, my mom, my grandfather and my great-grandmother.

I'm not so sure about my great grandmother's mothering skills.  Out of four children, my grandfather was the only one to make it through childhood alive.  And she named him Harley, after the motorcycle.

A name he didn't like too much or keep as an adult.

Four generations.
My great grandmother, my mom holding me and my grandfather

I feel very blessed to have such a good mom.  I haven't been very good at calling or stopping by to see her on Mother's Day through the years, but that has changed as I have gotten older.  I appreciate her more and more.

The Murph lost his mom several years ago to diabetes.  For many years before that he didn't get to see her much because she lived in New Jersey and he had moved south.  He tells me all the time that he listens to her now more than he ever did when she was alive.

Her years of motherly advice and wisdom that he shrugged off when she was alive now is a very real part of him.  I don't think a day goes by when he doesn't say mom would have said this or mom would have done that.

It gives me hope that maybe The Boy is hearing what I say and storing it away somewhere to remember when I'm not there and he needs it.

Things he needs to remember such as - "Brush your teeth", "Wash your clothes" and "Always wear clean underwear!".

My mom is full of advice for me as all mom's are I guess.  I should probably listen to her more.   She has very good advice.  Anyway, even if I don't listen to her all the time, I still love her very much.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Princess Birthday Party For A Little Princess

And no, it's not my birthday although I have been called "a princess" by the Running Nazi and she didn't mean it as a compliment exactly.  I still have a few days to go before my big day and just for the record, I'm 29 and holding. (It works for my mom so it'll work for me!)

I went over to the Running Nazi, L's house today.  She was having a party for her niece who turned 3 years old.  It was the first time I had met her cute little niece A, but I have heard lots about her during our long runs.  A is very, very lucky to have the Running Nazi as an aunt. RN's make great aunts!

I also finally got to meet several of L's family members - brother, sister, nieces etc.  She loves doing parties and is a super cook.  I've told her she should do catering she loves it so much.  She really went all out on decorations, food, activities.  I have never left her house hungry and she even helps me out when I have parties by making something really tasty.

L's niece A wanted a pink princess party with tacos for lunch, so the food was Mexican themed and delicious.  I had a soft taco with a little steak and chicken on it, (she had three different choices), guacamole dip, chips, 7 layer dip, chicken enchilada casserole, and several other types of dips and black beans and stuffed jalapenos.

For dessert L had birthday cake, cupcakes, cookies and chess squares.  And then there was some delicious pink princess punch made with raspberry sherbet and ginger ale.

It's a good thing we are running 13 miles tomorrow.  I need to burn this off.

It's been a long time since The Boy was that age, but it brought back memories of all his parties and the many parties he was invited to go to..  It seemed like everybody in his preschool class had a big birthday party.  And all his cousins as well.  They are all graduating from high school or in college now.

Those days he wouldn't let me out of his sight.  All the other kids would be playing and he would be right by my side.

He wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's yet during those days so I just thought he was shy and would out grow it.

I don't think he ever really out grew it.  I think his peer group just got older and eventually stopped having birthdays where they invited everyone in the class.

The girls invited girls and the boys invited boys and only close friends got invited.  The Boy did better in these smaller groups.

Back then I got my share of jumping in these things with The Boy.  It was the only way I could get him in one, but once inside he loved it.

All the children had fun swimming in the swimming pool.  I didn't see any adults go in the pool, but a mom, dad or two that had really small children might have gotten in.  I was too busy inside eating cupcakes.

The Running Nazis' dog's Ali and Max were handling things really well.  Ali even dressed for the occasion.

Ali

Max

 And then there was the pinata, handmade in Mexico that the RN's husband, P called the "bad prom date'.   Yes, I can see why.  So can the Murph.

I love this sandbox that the RN's husband P made for little A.

And the funniest picture of all,  P riding in cinderella's carriage.

And princess goody bags!  (I got some pink Lancome lip gloss)

What a fun party!  Happy Birthday A!