Diving Into Wedding Planning

I have been diving into wedding planning again since we got back from the beach.  We are looking at a late June or early July wedding, but no dates set yet.  I picked up the spring/summer Grace Ormonde wedding style magazine at the grocery store today.  I love this magazine.   It's one of my favorites.  I have a huge collection of bride magazines on hand that I have been collecting since the engagement a year ago.  I am still just as confused and undecided as ever on how to pull it all together though.

I've been looking for wedding invitation ideas.  I don't know why it's so hard to decide on one.  There are just too many options.  I like all the vintage wedding ideas that are on the Internet, but somehow I don't think that is me.  I am more traditional, but I don't want to be boring.  I need something that is a combination modern and glamorous with just a touch of vintage and traditional. I also like sparkly and pink.  Is that possible?  And if it is, what the heck would that look like??  The last time we looked at invitations I thought the shop owner was going to throw me out.  That was almost a year ago.  I've been afraid to go back until I get a more concrete idea of what I'm looking for in an invitation.

Not having a clue about what kind of wedding invitation to order is not a problem yet, since we haven't set a date.  Once the date is set, the invitations will have to be ordered immediately.  There will not be much time.  We haven't reserved the country club where we plan to have the wedding.   We do know we want an evening wedding with the ceremony held outside on the patio overlooking the golf course and have the reception inside.  Cocktails first, then dinner and dancing.

Since June and July are poplar wedding months, we realize we might have to have the wedding on a Friday or a Sunday evening instead of on Saturday and that's fine with us.  We still haven't looked at bands or photographers.  We met with one florist last year and really liked their work, but even that is not decided.  Everything will be last minute.  I hope we can pull it off!

I purchased my dresses last year when we were visiting my friend S styleodyssey.blogspot.com in Charleston, SC.  I am really, really glad she was there to help me out.  I was totally clueless about what I wanted.  Well, ok that's not true.  I had an "idea" of what I wanted and that was the problem.   Sometimes when you have an "idea" and you can't find exactly what fits into that "idea", it can get extremely frustrating.  That's where Bridezilla starts to emerge.  That's what happened at the wedding invitation place and I didn't have S there to help me make a decision.

Back to the dresses, I decided on a  Reem Acra strapless silk gown with a tulle overlay for the ceremony and will change into a short Ann Bowen silk gown for the reception.  The Reem Acra dress was purchased at the Gown Boutique of Charleston and the Anne Bowen was purchased at Maddison Row in Charleston.  I got great deals at both places.  Maddison Row was having an Anne Bowen trunk show while I was there and the Gown Boutique was discontinuing Reem Acra designs.  I don't know why.  I love her designs!  I think it had something to do with Southern brides wanting something a little more conservative, less edgy.  I got the dress for 1/4 of what the original price was.  The dress isn't edgy.  It's a very traditional sort of wedding dress.

My shoes are strappy Jimmy Choo's in champagne which look more silver to me.  I might get a different more comfortable pair for dancing in later in the evening.  The dresses and the shoes have been sitting in the closet for almost a year.  I can't wait to get to wear them!

I still haven't picked out the bridesmaid dresses.  They will be either fuchsia or silver and short not long.   I have no idea what I will wear in my hair or what jewelry and accessories I will wear.  Too many options online.  It's hard to decide.  Once the date is set, it will get super hectic around here for awhile.  I can't wait!

Beach Photos

I love the beach and what a different kind of trip this has been.  What a roller coaster ride it's been with the Boy.   Right before I hit send on my blog post last night, he called again.  For the third time.  This time things went much better.  When the Boys world is better, my world is better.

Here's more beach photos.  Nice to look at when I'm not there.

It is red flag today, the water is very rough and closed to the public.  Rip tides.

Finishing What You Start

I came across this you tube video as I was surfing around the internet today.  Being an Ironman and experiencing the overwhelming emotion after crossing the finish line, I know what these women are going through.  It reminded me of why I do these races, both long and short, but especially the Ironman races.

Triathlons, biking and running have been my outlet for stress, depression, you name it, over the past 15 years.  The Boy once made the comment that whenever things went wrong his dad would yell and his mom would run.  I ran ALOT over the years.

Today was a very rough, emotional day for me after the weekend with The Boy.  Some of the things that he said to me really hurt.

 I've seen this famous finish line crawl between Sian Welch and Wendy Ingraham before, but today it touched me more than ever.  Not just because qualifying for the Ironman World Championship is always at the top of my mind, but because it made me once again realize that no matter how hard or tough it is, you have to keep going to the finish.  It's all about sticking with it and finishing.  Never quit.

I got The Boy through high school and now into college and I will be there for him to the end.  If he says he hates me.  Fine.  If he says I annoy him.  Fine.  If he says his life would be better off without me in it.  Fine.  He can say what he wants, I know he needs me.  He wouldn't have made it this far without the sacrifices I have made gladly through the years.  And I'm in it until he truly doesn't need me anymore and goes off to make his mark in the world.

The most rewarding thing in world to me is being a mom.  It is also the most painful.  But I'm no quitter.  He may be 20 years old next month, but he needs me now more than ever.  I might be limping, but I'm hanging in there.

And one day I will cross that finish line in Kona, Hawaii even if I have to crawl on my hands and knees.

First Almost Futile Attempt At Ryan Gosling (the meme I mean....)

I'm not that creative so this is about as good as I can do.  I apologize in advance....

This is my first attempt at the Special needs Ryan Gosling meme that was started several weeks ago by Sunday Stillwell.  See more or these memes at her blog here - http://www.extremeparenthood.com/

I would never have been able to figure this out if The Boy wasn't here from college to help me.  He gets all the credit on helping me cut, paste, save, etc.  He didn't think my memes were that funny although he did remember the botanical drops for relieving stress that I bought for him from GNC the summer he worked for his dad.  He said the drops actually worked.

Existential

oh the indignity!

This morning the landscaper guys came to clip all the bushes in the front of the house and put pine straw around the natural areas in the yard.  The car wash guy came at the same time and washed all the cars, except the Boys car (I washed it over the weekend) and the car that the Girl is using until her car gets out of the shop.  During all this, my brother pops in to say hello.  He was in the neighborhood.

I don't know why, but my brother is totally fascinated by our Phantom, psycho terrorist cat.  I think he comes over just to look at the cat.  Amazed.  How can a cat be that large?  During Christmas, he came over and said Phantom was "out of his frame".   Phantom is a big cat and he's also very fat, but he would be big even if you took the fatness away.  He's big boned.

My brother has a chihuahua that's about as big as one of Phantom's paws.  One smack of those deadly claws and that dog is history.  My brother is very protective of this little dog who he named Sassy, so I don't get to see her much.    She's not allowed around Phantom.  What's so funny is Phantom is terrified of Sassy.  Last time he brought her over (which was one of the ONLY times), she ran my cats under the bed and they didn't come back out until she left.  They don't like her at all.  She thinks she's much bigger than she really is.  When my brother first found her abandoned in the middle of the road several years ago, he wasn't even sure she was a dog.  She was so tiny it was hard to tell.  

Phantom follows me around everywhere now that the Boy is away at school.  I think the cat is lonely.  I've noticed he's put on even more weight.  My friend S ( styleodyssey.blogspot.com )shared this video today on my Facebook wall.  It's a video about Henri, the Existential cat.  She said the look on this cat's face reminds her of Phantom in my pictures of him.  I agree!

video by Will Braden

Henri and Phantom would make great friends, sitting around and moping and complaining.  This could go on for days when inevitably one would get mad at the other and then somebody would get popped on the head with a paw or bitten on the butt.  That would be the end of that friendship.

Gotta Love This One - Lady Gaga - Paper Gangsta [Official Video]

The Boy turned me on to this song the other night because he knew I liked Lady Gaga.  He is far too hip to go for something as mainstream as Lady Gaga, but I thought it was very thoughtful of him to turn me on to some new LG songs.

To me Lady Gaga is the new Madonna.  And it's about time.  I loved Madonna back when I was in my teens and twenties.  I listened to her music, I dressed like her, she was my inspiration.  If I were in my twenties now Lady Gaga would be my inspiration.  Laugh if you want.  I can handle it.  I've been told I'm "unique" and I don't think they meant it in necessarily a good way.

I would have loved to see Lady Gaga on stage with Madonna at the Super Bowl this year.  What a show that would've been.

I became hooked on this song before I even understood what the lyrics were.  Once I looked up the lyrics I was really hooked.  I should have embraced this song as my theme song 4 years ago.  It would've saved me a lot of strife.  If the Boy only knew!

I am lucky to have found somebody fabulous and real now (that would be the Murph).  And not on match.com.  Please girls, never, ever, ever try to meet guys on that site or any of those "dating"sites.  Do it the old fashioned way at church and/or bars.   Seriously, it's safer!   Even bars are safer than match!  I promise.  Just keep an eye on your drink at all times.

I hope YouTube won't block this video from my blog because of copyright issues.  If they do, then it will have to be watched on YouTube.   Sucks, I know.

Sony Music must be in charge of all the music in the universe.  I'm still waiting to hear from them about getting a "master license" to use a song on a personal video that I wanted to submit to a triathlon contest.   Actually I am only using a 90 second clip of the song.

I tried to do the right thing by notifying them and getting permission.  They probably got a good laugh.   They probably thought "Who the hell is this person?  Doesn't she know who we are?  We are WAY to big and important to give her the time of day!  Kiss the hand...."   Then they probably hit delete and forgot all about me.

 I haven't heard back from them.  I'm not holding my breath.

Expensive

 I have about 4 or 5 of these pink coffee cups that have various sayings on them.  I pulled this one out today for my morning cup of coffee and noticed what it said on it.  Guess I had forgotten all the sayings although I do recall one mug says something about being a princess.

 I know my mom would agree with this one.  She thinks I should stay out of Saks Fifth Avenue and only shop at less expensive places like Target or Walmart.  She says my niece is going to be just like me.  My poor brother!!

The Murph says I'm not that bad.  I was a single mom for so long that I can't be that bad, can I?

Oh yea, hey mom - I vaguely recall buying these cups at T.J Max for less than five bucks a few years ago.  You'd be proud!

Hauling Out The White Clothes and Shoes

 You can't open a door around here without this cat running out.  And I thought I could condition him to think that every time he gets out he would get a bath when he comes back inside.  He hates baths, but I still have some work to do to get him to make the connection.  Outside = Bath.

I think I can officially start wearing all my white dresses and shoes now that it's after Easter.  I never wait until Memorial Day.  It's already hot here in the south.   I wear white year round except shoes and summery dresses like the one I'm wearing here.  I chose to wear pink Tory Burch sandals today though instead of white ones.  I thought a contrast would be better.

This is one of my favorite white Free People Dresses.  See Phantom trying to get past me to run down the steps and off the porch.  Don't worry, he didn't make it past my leg.  I'm faster.  I love his tuxedo!

While I was running errands today I stopped in Lululemon's and spent way to much on athletic wear.  I don't feel too bad about it since I wear work out clothing everyday for almost the entire day, except going out or sleeping.  My friend at styleodyssey.blogspot.com turned me on to them when she was visiting over Christmas holidays.  She warned me that I would get addicted and there would be no turning back.  She was right!  I love it and I'm not getting paid to say that.

Even the Lululemon bags are way cool.  Or should I say "Hip".

Getting Along

This is Cadence (at the top of the climbing tree) and Ed and Boo sharing the window yesterday.  No biting, scratching, hitting on the head with paws just getting along nicely.  Brotherly love in recognition of the Easter holiday.

Hipster Kitty

See more on Know Your Meme

The Boy sent me a link to this Hipster Kitty meme website last night after I wrote this post about him...
http://konabarbie.blogspot.com/2012/04/easter-eggs-herbs-and-omg-i-failed.html

He also meows at me when he's around and pretends to be a cat so now my new name for him is going to be Hipster Kitty.  He has constantly reminded me over the years that he is so not mainstream.  It started back in third grade when he refused to wear the GAP jeans I bought him.

  It continued through the years with his dislike of my mainstream music and clothing ideas.   I never understood how he could not like the Abercrombie and Fitch clothing I always bought for him.   There's hope for him though.  He wears Abercrombie and Fitch now and is more open to my other clothing suggestions.  I am still going to call him "Hipster Kitty".

Easter Eggs, Herbs And OMG I Failed!

What a day!  Internet was out for most of it and we had to get the cable guy out here.  He ended up running totally new cable because the old cable was all beat up (he said).  I felt sorry for him having to crawl through the scary place under the house to run the cable.  Lots of creepy crawlies down there.  Now the internet is much faster and WORKING!

While I was having withdrawals from not being able to get online,  I dyed Easter eggs and The Murph and I went to the store and bought some vegetables and herbs to plant in the garden.  I couldn't get The Murph to dye any eggs though.  He's too manly for that kind of girly stuff.

Here's some of the herbs we bought... (they are all legal)

I snuck some catnip in for the cats along with the other herbs.  The Murph doesn't spoil his cats like I spoil mine so he wouldn't have approved of the catnip if he had noticed.  I can spoil his cats along with mine though.  Catnip should not be legal from the way my cats act around it.

I was skyping with The Boy last night and he asked me if I would help him find some sources for a paper he had to write.  I try to discourage this and make him find his own sources, but if he can convince me how terribly busy he is and he's working on another paper, studying for a test, etc, then I will help him a little.  I told him that I might if I had time, but I was in the middle of something so don't depend on it.

Well, I was busy and totally forgot to find any sources for him so just now as I am sending him a message that our internet is back up and running he skypes me with this very dramatic, over the top message that goes something like this...


The Boy:  "WHY HAVENT YOU GIVEN ME ANY SOURCES

                 YOU FAILED

                 YOU

                 FAILED!!!!!!

                 OMG
                 WHY DIDNT YOU DO IT

                 DID YOU EVEN LOOK

                 I DONT EVEN THINK YOU LOOKED

                 OMFG

                 WHY??????????"

I know this is a bad thing for him to say to me (extremely disrespectful), but I cracked up.  I don't know why I thought it was so funny.  The Murph did NOT think it was funny at all.  

I skyped back to him...

Me:   "No,  I'm not a failure.  I graduated from college 25 years ago." 

I didn't even get a chance to say anything else about it or give him another lecture on being a responsible adult now that he's 19 years old because the drama king had already gotten over it.  Before I could say anything, he was trying to test his server (which is with us 250 miles away from him in his bedroom)  to see if our new internet connection was any stronger than the old one.  

He says it's not.

I should send him some eggs.

The Not So Great Baby Chick Idea

I had this really, really great idea to surprise The Murph this year with a few baby chicks for Easter.  I thought wouldn't it be great to have our very own egg laying chickens so we could have healthy organic fresh eggs to eat.  Sure we live in a subdivision, not out in the country, but so what.  Every year The Murph has a little spot in his yard where he has a little vegetable garden.  We also planted several different types of herbs last year, so wouldn't it be great to throw in a few chickens and build a chicken coop behind the garden and have fresh eggs as well?

I researched all about it on the internet, found a hatchery that ships 1 day old baby chicks in small quantities (I was going to order 5) in a mixture of white egg layers and brown egg layers.  I found out what you would need to take care of the baby chicks until they got big enough to put out in the yard and was ready to buy a starter kit which included a heat lamp, feeder, waterer, and starter food.  

I even found a really cute place that makes "green" chicken coops that look like an English estate, made of recycled wood from old houses and approved by Martha Stewart.  I mean OMG MARTHA STEWART!  We have the absolute perfect place to put a coop in a separate fenced area in the back yard that was The Girl's play yard when she was little.  The baby chicks would even have an old swing set to play on.  

For the past several months I have really been getting excited about this chicken idea.  I even had names picked out for them depending on their individual personalities of course.  There would be little Tuula,  Sophia Grace,  Rosie, Angelina, Martha Claire...all great names for chickens I think.

So the other day when I am about to place the order, actually pulling out the credit card to make the payment, a sudden disturbing thought stops me.  

Are chickens even allowed in this golf course neighborhood community?  How would I found out?  

So I took a shot and googled the covenants for my neighborhood, not really expecting anything to come up on the internet, but there they were, right there at my fingertips, much like the baby chicken order.

I was extremely disappointed to discover that live poultry was NOT allowed in this neighborhood at all.       Absolutely forbidden.  Pit Bulls, deadly snakes and wild boar, perfectly acceptable, just NO chickens.  So much for fresh, organic, home grown eggs.  

I broke down and confessed to The Murph, told him all about my great idea for fresh eggs, but he didn't think the idea was so great.  The eggs at the the grocery store are perfectly fine with him he said and he's now very thankful for those neighborhood covenants.  Four cats are enough.

Too Old For An Easter Basket?

Every year since The Boy's been born,  I have given him an Easter basket full of various things depending on his changing interests through the years.  Now he's 19 years old and in college, but I still wanted to send him one this year.  It's a mom thing I guess.

Yesterday I went to the store and bought a little Easter basket, a bag of easter grass, jelly beans, assorted chocolate candies wrapped in shiny pastel Easter colors, gum, a chocolate bunny and a stuffed animal - a mommy chicken hugging her little baby chick.  I put this all together along with an Easter card that had a bunny picture and some of The Boy's other favorite snacks to send him as sort of an Easter/Care package.

The Murph humored me on this, but thinks that Easter baskets usually stop by the time children reach their teens.  I teased him that maybe his parents just didn't love him enough.  I think you're never too old for Christmas stockings or Easter baskets.

I tried to explain that I enjoy doing it every year and it's as much for me as it is for The Boy.  I don't expect him to jump up and down and get all excited when he opens up the box in his dorm room and pulls out a stuffed chicken and a little basket, but I do think he will enjoy the candy and the snacks.  Even though he'll probably roll his eyes at the other things, I just hope he knows I love him and am always thinking of him.

The UPS store is familiar with me and my little care packages by now.  They didn't think it was all that strange when I brought in the stuffed animal, basket and candy to send to The Boy, not even when The Murph pointed out that he's "only 19".

It's a sad day when your too old for an Easter basket.

World Autism Awareness Day

The month of April is World Autism Awareness month and today kicks it off with World Autism Awareness Day.  I have spent most of the afternoon reading autism news, blogs, articles, etc., anything related to Autism/Asperger's awareness.  It is so good that there is starting to be more information and support for families with children on the autism spectrum.  It is clear, however, that we still have a long way to go.

The Boy wasn't officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome until he was in 8th grade, yet looking back, all the signs were there.  I had never even heard about Asperger's or knew anyone who had it until he was diagnosed with it.  I knew something was wrong, but something related to autism was not even considered.   The Boy's dad and family mostly blamed bad parenting for the Boy's problems.  Bad parenting by me, of course.  I guess they considered the Boy's dad a "great" parent, but if that was the case then why didn't he step up to the plate and "correct" me if I was such a bad parent.  Are mom's always to blame?  I have to admit that I even started blaming myself and thought that maybe I was doing something wrong.  I began wearing myself ragged trying to be a better parent.

 The Boy was 10 years old when I filed for divorce from his father.  At that point, I started taking The Boy to a child psychologist.  The Boy's dad and I were fighting so much that I thought it probably wasn't a bad idea to get him into counseling.  I had tried to get him into counseling months before filing for divorce.  That didn't end up well when the psychologist asked The Boy who he liked better his mom or his dad.  When The Boy told his dad this, his dad hit the roof.  I suggested that next appointment, The Boy's dad come and we could get to the bottom of why this question was asked.  Needless to say, The Boy's dad got ugly and accusatory and the psychologist didn't have a chance to explain.  I just wanted to disappear.  I never made another appointment with him.

The new psychologist was a female child psychologist recommended through the court system.  She was very good and did help me in some of the more immediate problems I had with The Boy, such as getting him to sleep in his own bed and help during the stress of the divorce.  What I will never, ever understand is why, why, why did she not once see that The Boy had signs of Asperger's?  We saw her once or twice a month for five years.  It wasn't until The Boy was diagnosed with ADD and he was having stomach problems and withdrawal issues from his meds that the school advised me to take him to a psychiatrist to help coordinate his ADD meds.  This man, who we saw approximately once every 6 months for less than two years when he diagnosed The Boy with Asperger's.  Finally the answer!

It's difficult thinking of all the lost years The Boy could have had specific help for his diagnosis!  He fell through the cracks for so many years despite the school knowing something was wrong, me knowing something was wrong, my friends and other parents knowing something was wrong, but nobody know what that thing was.  That thing called Asperger's.

After the diagnosis I cried.  I was so relieved.  The Boy was relieved.  I know it must be hard and a blow for families to learn their child has an autism spectrum disorder when they are toddlers, but take my word for it, it's a blessing to know and to take action early than to not know and not get the help they need.  The Boy had had IEP's and speech therapy, but the diagnosis made him eligible for so much more of the help he needed.  Best of all it took "behavioral problem" out of the picture.   As a mom, I knew my son was NOT a behavioral problem.  Don't even get me started on that one!

 It was still tough.  There were always some teachers who didn't want to accommodate and The Boy's dad still doesn't think there was any problem other than that I suck as a parent.  I am just so thankful the there is such a strong Autism/Asperger's community out there getting the word out.  I hope no other parent goes through what I did.  Even if The Boy had been diagnosed when he was a preschooler, there was very little out there to help him in this state.  Now we have Mitchell's Place, which really helped The Boy when he was first diagnosed.  He attended a summer camp there and went on to do the after school program his freshman year of school.  

This is the fifth year for the annual World Autism Awareness Day and I am thrilled.  I hope it continues and helps educate the public and get the support and funding for the families, children and adults who are faced with autism every day.  I feel inspired to do whatever I can do to help get the word out.  There's no time for blame, only for action.

Hiding Place

 Cadence got sprayed with the water bottle Saturday for going after Ed and Boo.  He's not as aggressive as Phantom is with them so we don't lock him downstairs to sleep at night and he's free to roam and cause trouble.  He doesn't bite the other cats, but he has pretty mean claws despite the fact I try to keep them clipped.

Later, after I hadn't seen him in a while,  I looked all over for him in all his favorite places.  I walked past this cat box hiding place at least a dozen times and never noticed him inside the thing.  I never thought to look there because Cadence hasn't used it since he was a kitten.  Of course, he ignored me as he watched me walk past a dozen times calling his name.