Monday, February 3, 2014

Letting Go Of Fear

This morning one of my favorite autism mom bloggers, Inner Aspie, wrote a blog post that hit home with me. It was about letting go of your fears. I have started going to a Christian counselor to help me deal with my anxieties and the stress of moving and major life changes, including dealing with a family pet who is dying of cancer.

Inner Aspie has a friend, Heather, who developed lung cancer -mesothelioma. Eight years ago she had the lung removed and has been cancer free ever since.  On the anniversary of her lung removal, she and her family celebrate Lung Leaving Day by writing their biggest fears on plates and smashing them in the fire. This process helps her deal with her fears of the cancer coming back and some other fears she has by writing them down and letting them go.

Just last Friday as I was at my counseling appointment, we were discussing letting go. Letting go of my fears and all the other things I try to hold on to too tightly and control. This goes back a long way with me. One of the many examples was I held on to tight to my son, who has Aspergers Syndrome and tried to control too much. I didn't have enough faith that he would be all right if I stepped back and gave him some breathing room. He struggled though school I was overwhelmed with the idea that it was up to me to get him through school and to graduation. I felt it was my responsibility and if I didn't then I was a failure.

Now that my son is in college he is doing so much better. I "let go" when he was a freshman and hired a tutor to help him. This allowed me to back off a little and it forced him to take responsibility for his own journey and he's doing just fine. Believe me, I needed this for my own mental health as well! Letting other people help took so much of the burden off of me.

Right now I've discovered I'm doing the same thing with my sick cat. Holding on too tight. My fear of losing this cat, who is my son's cat, has kept me hanging on too much. I realized I have to "let go and let God". When we hang on too tight to something then God can't do his work. Nothing in this world belongs to us. Everything belongs to him including my son, my cat, my husband, the clothes on my back. I have nothing so why hang on that tight?

My counselor told me when I have fear, I can't have faith. Fear is the opposite of faith. It is so great when we can let go of our fears and have faith that God will take care of everything. It takes so much of the burden off. I wish I had realized this when my son was younger and struggling. Then I could have helped him much better without those feeling of failure and fear that I had back then.

I went to Heather's web site today and wrote down my biggest fear on a paper plate and threw it in the fire. You can do the same by clicking on Heather's site here.

1 comment:

  1. You're had so many changes and a few battles, too. Glad you're finding positive ways to deal with everything. xo