Thursday, June 14, 2012

What About That Kona Slot Lance?

Dear Lance,

It really makes me sad that you have been most likely lying all these years about using performance enhancing drugs.   I  was one of those who felt that if you did use drugs, then it would have shown up in blood tests all these years.  I didn't really understand why the anti-doping agency kept harassing you.  I am still very angry at them for being so mean to you, even now.   I had faith in you, Lance.  You were my hero.

Unfortunately, I have doubts now.  Well, I had doubts back then, but a negative test is a negative test, right?  And if you said you weren't using drugs you weren't using them, right?  

Wrong!  Apparently you used drugs to mask the fact that you were using enhancing drugs.  Is this true, Lance??  Say it isn't so, Lance!!

I am very disappointed, Lance.  And to think I just got an email from you a couple of days ago inviting me and a guest to come ride with you in Austin. Remember sending this to me, Lance?

      Dear Kristy,
      We’re organizing the biggest bike ride Austin’s ever seen, and I want you to be there      
      with me.  If you register by June 24, you and a friend could help lead off the Team
      LIVESTRONG Challenge Austin with me on the starting line.
      Register for any Team LIVESTRONG event today and you and a guest could ride        with me in Austin.

      See you at the starting line.

And what about that chance to race with you at the Ironman World Championship in Kona this October?  For a mere minimum starting bid of $40,000, I was offered a slot in the race, a new bike, hotel accommodations and a training ride with you.

Of course, you realize I could've gotten one of those Kona-Inspired racing slots for free if you had just voted for me and shared my awesome video with all your followers.  It may sound like I'm a little bitter about that, but I'm really, really not.  I'm good.  Really!

Well Lance, looks like neither one of us will be at the start line in Kona this year, but it least I get some complimentary Yurbuds.

What did you get?

Yours truly,



  1. Oh well! I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this...

  2. I know. I hope they continue to let him to triathlons, but I do have an issue with doping. It's cheating and it's not fair. I will never get a chance to earn a kona slot if others are getting their slots by doping. I couldn't beat them. One things for sure, if I ever get fast enough to earn a slot, it won't be because I've used EPO's. I will need my inhaler though!

  3. I agree; it's cheating and should not be allowed. Whatever happened to training the hard (natural!) way...