Saturday, September 1, 2012

Can't Take The Murph Anywhere!

The Murph and I have been busy checking things off the wedding checklist.  We've been very productive and getting things done.  It's been so great meeting with all the different vendors and actually getting the ones we want, even though we waited until the last minute to book them.

The other day we signed the contract and gave the florist a deposit.  We've already booked the photographer and the country club, who is doing all the catering.  Dresses ordered or in alterations,  cake bakery lined up.  The only things we seemed to have left were the band, DJ, and the tuxes for the guys.

We hired a jazz combo to play at the cocktail hour and during the ceremony.  Then we made an appointment with the company that hires out DJ's and was highly recommended by our photographer. Last week we headed to their office after we worked out.  It wasn't very far from us and we knew the area very well, but we had a very tough time finding the place.   They gave us very vague directions and no actual address.

We finally narrowed it down to one strip of offices in the middle of the woods with no name that we could see on the sign.  We decided to park and just walk in one of the offices and ask if they knew where this place was.  He showed us where the company was (right next door).  Apparently, they do not want to be discovered easily!

We were told later that there were some squatters across the street from the offices living in an old dilapidated house with no electricity.  They had a loud generator going and it was discovered they were stealing gas from the offices.  Who knows what else they were stealing.  Everybody was happy when the dilapidated house got torn down.  Everybody except the squatters.

The guy we were suppose to meet with greeted us at the door.  The rest of the office was quiet and looked empty.  He directed us into a room in the front with a huge table we could sit around and a huge television on the wall where he could show his presentation to us.

We hit it off with him immediately, especially the Murph because they both lived in some of the same places in New Jersey (like the Jersey Shore).

In the middle of the presentation someone came in the front door and the DJ guy had to go out and talk to him.  He excused himself, but before he left, The Murph asked him where the bathroom was.  DJ guy pointed across the hall to the bathroom.  The Murph goes into the bathroom, DJ guy goes to talk to the guy that just walked in and I stay seated at the table in the "presentation" room.

Suddenly, certain "noises" started coming from the bathroom.  Not just once, twice,  but several times!   Stunned, I'm sitting at the table glancing over at the bathroom door.  I couldn't believe The Murph was doing that in this close space with the DJ guy and the other strange guy right outside the door.

I'm sure that if I can hear the going ons in the bathroom, that they most certainly can too!  I can't even believe The Murph would feel that at ease in this strange place.  I'm sitting there trying not to laugh too loud in a room all by myself and I look up and see there is a surveillance camera pointed right at me.

I try to pull myself together.  Fortunately, just as the DJ guy is walking back in the room, The Murph attempts to get out of the bathroom and can't get the knob to turn.  We watch the door as he struggles to open it, DJ guy offering advice on how to unstick the knob, when finally The Murph gets out.  Then I am free to laugh out loud.  The Murph sits down next to me and I'm looking at him and laughing.

He looks at me like I'm nuts.  The door knob sticking was kind of funny, but not THAT funny.

Later, when we are in the car I tell him the REAL reason I was laughing.

Me:  Man, don't you think you were a little loud in there???

The Murph:  What??  What do you mean?  You heard that???

Me:  Dude, the entire building could hear that!!  I was mortified!

The Murph:  But I had the fan on.  I didn't think anybody could hear over the fan.  I THOUGHT THE FAN WAS SUFFICIENT!

Me:  I couldn't even hear the fan, but I could hear EVERYTHING you did in there, including flushing.

The Murph:  You're kidding!  When I went in the bathroom and I saw that there was a fan, I thought that I would be okay.  I was hoping there would be a fan and there was one.   I thought the fan would be sufficient!!  I thought the FAN was SUFFICIENT!!

Me:  Laughing uncontrollably, not able to talk anymore...


Moral of the story - Never trust the loudness of the bathroom fan.


  1. After reading this post, I'm sure you'll make a great wife. I probably would've started laughing out loud as soon as he came out.

    1. We've been laughing about it a lot since then to make up for not laughing while we were at the DJ office. I did laugh when he came out, but I just pretended it was because the door stuck and he couldn't get out. Our new phrase of the week around here is "I thought the fan was sufficient!!!"

  2. This is funnier than the black toilet paper for sure . . .