Monday, January 7, 2013

Don't Call My Son Stupid!

I apologize in advance for my vents, but when the Boy is home sometimes I need to vent.  This time it's not anything the Boy did at all.  For the small amount of time I've spent with him, he's been great.  I just wish he'd get back on a sleep during the night, stay awake during the day schedule.  What's bugging me now is the level of uneducated ignorance that exits in this world when it comes to people on the Autism spectrum.

Yesterday was a tough day.  I really wish people were more understanding of the Boy's many quirks and sometimes his argumentativeness that borders on rudeness.  Even knowing he has Asperger's doesn't seem to matter.  I still get hit with "it's not Asperger's, that's just an EXCUSE."  I guess if someone has a broken leg and can't walk then that's "just an excuse" too.  I am so sick of it I could scream!   Asperger's is a real problem and he has issues with social skills.  Get it!

I think the Boy is oblivious to these people and their ignorant attitudes, so I'm the only one banging my head against the wall so to speak.  It seems that the judgmental attitude should have ended when he got diagnosed with a very real problem.   You can look at him and see there's a problem.  Why be so ugly and mean about it?  

The social awkwardness slowly seemed to magnify as he became an adult.  I don't know how to help him with that just like I didn't know what to do when he was kid.  Now there are programs for autistic children that weren't there for him when he was that age.  One day I'm sure there will be programs for young adults that just aren't out there now.  He's ahead of the curve and that's not a good thing.

Today the Boy had an appointment with Dr. W, his psychiatrist.  Insurance does not cover any of it so we have to pay the entire bill.  The Boy missed his appointment before Christmas because he was at his dad's house and I couldn't get his dad to take him to the appointment.  I had forgotten about it until the day of the appointment and tried to cancel the appointment when I couldn't get in touch with the Boy and his dad wouldn't go home and wake him up.  Of course, I was charged for that missed visit as well as this one.  Fortunately, Dr. W only charged me half for the missed visit.   Does the Boy's dad help with any of this?  Heck no!  He can't even be bothered to take him to the appointment ever.

On the way home from the appointment, The Boy and I were talking about the Boy's college housing for next Fall.  This year he went from the dorm to an apartment right off campus.  This has been a lot more money than I thought it would be and the Boy is depending on his dad to help with rent.  The Boy said he asked his dad for the rent when he was over there for dinner the other night and his dad told him he didn't have the money.  Another lie!   

 The Boy had his friend W, there to witness this.  W's dad is totally involved in his son's college and pays for everything his scholarship doesn't pay for, including buying him a car and paying the insurance, etc.  It really hurts the Boy when he sees this and he then sees how his dad treats him.  There's nothing I can do to make his dad help out more except maybe take him to court which would cost me a lot of money and may not amount to anything.

The Boy knows he will have to go back into the dorm next year because he can't afford the apartment.  I just don't get it.  How does that man sleep at night?  We're not talking about that much money because the Boy's financial aid covers almost everything.  I just don't get it!

One more vent then I'll stop, I promise!

Please don't call my son stupid, especially when he may hear you.  Call me anything you want, but watch out when you talk about my son.  Anyone who calls a special needs person "stupid" is the lowest of the low.  Who's the real stupid one?

Not my son!